


Breeze of Memories

by tineyookoo



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Friendship, Hope, Love, M/M, Secrets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2020-10-06 01:42:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 28,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20498813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tineyookoo/pseuds/tineyookoo
Summary: Everything's complex and complicated. Things that needs an answer and clarification. Will they be able reveal what is hidden? Or they'll just keep silent and just go with the flow?





	1. Breeze of Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer:  
-My first ever AU (Please be considerate😅)  
-Qrt, RT. No replies.  
-Story telling.  
-Made out of my extreme love for JunBob.  
-Purely created through my imagination.  
-🔞R18🔞 SERIOUSLY (might contain swearing/r18 scenes)  
-Will put ⚠️WARNING⚠️ if the scene is R18  
-Will update, whenever 😅  
-All materials that will be used is not mine unless stated (photos, musics, etc.)  
-Some scenes are inspired by JONAXX 😍  
-Let me know your thoughts.  
-I'm sorry for the typo, wrong grammar, etc.
> 
> P.S I don't know what I'm doing 🤣
> 
> P.P.S THE STORY IS STILL ON GOING 😄

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 🍃 Breeze of Memories 🍃
> 
> iKON JunBob AU
> 
> Everything's complex and complicated. Things that needs an answer and clarification. Will they be able reveal what is hidden? Or they'll just keep silent and just go with the flow?

PROLOGUE

Junhoe woke up in the middle of the night, staring blankly on the ceiling. It’s already 2:00am and he seems figuring everything out, a lot of thoughts flood his mind. Suddenly, someone wrapped his hands and arms around Junhoe’s waist.

“You’re over-thinking again, let’s go back to sleep.”

“I can’t, I’m still worried.” Junhoe answered while tilting his head to see the face of the man beside him.

“About what?”

“I don’t know. All I know is I wants us to be free.”

They both kept silence for a while until Bobby decided to break it.

“Okay, then we’ll let them know. If that’s what you want. If that’s what will make you happy.”

After hearing those word, Junhoe’s eyes widen and smile like a happy bulbasaur.

“Thank you Jiwon hyung.”

They stared at each other, seeing through each other souls. Bobby slowly reached Junhoe’s lips, close his eyes and gave him a deep peck.

“I’ll do everything for you, my love.”

Bobby tighten his hug on Junhoe’s waist and buried his face on Junhoe’s neck, as if the man he’s holding will be gone if he’ll let go. Junhoe responded the same and never let go.


	2. [1]

[1]

It’s their summer vacation when the boys decided to spent their whole summer on a trip together. The twins, Yunhyeong and Chanwoo offered their rest house in Cagayan de Oro where they used to live before their parents decided to transfer in Manila. Everyone agreed on the twins idea and planned to go the day after tomorrow. They decided to gather on Junhoe’s house on the day of their trip since Junhoe’s parents weren’t home.

Junhoe was still asleep when someone jumped on his back.

“Yaaaaah! Can’t you see that I’m still sleeping?”

“You brat! It’s already 6:00am and we’re living in 30mins., everyone’s already downstairs. Wake up!” Jinhwan said while standing beside Junhoe’s bed. He’s already ready for the trip.

Jinhwan and Junhoe knew each other since kindergarten. They are neighbors, they are very close, and very private persons. They keep secrets just for the two of them.

“Give me 10 more minutes hyung, please!”

“You haven’t packed your things yet. And please take a bath, I’m begging you!”

“Okay.” Junhoe responded lazily while still lying on his bed and not moving.

“Are you getting ready now or I’ll ask Bobby’s help in waking you up?”

“Okay, okay. I’m up!!” Junhoe shouted while lifting his body from his bed.

“Why you two are still awkward? I still don’t understand. We’re friends for years!” Jinhwan chuckled while leaving Junhoe’s room.

Junhoe sat on his bed, stared blankly on the wall, touched his toes, not yet fully awake. It took him 5 more minutes before he started getting ready.

“Umm…. Uhh.... I entered because the door is open.”  
“And.. umm.. th-they said we’re going now.” Bobby said while looking at the floor.

“Oh…. Okay” Junhoe answered, not looking at Bobby.

Bobby was on his way out when he heard something loud inside Junhoe’s room. When he looked back, he saw Junhoe picking up his things, all are scattered on the floor and his luggage is open. Bobby just stared at Junhoe for a while before he started to move.

“Uhh…. do you need help?” Bobby knelt down and help Junhoe pick up his things.

“I-I … ummmm … the luggage slipped.” Junhoe stuttered.

No one’s talking, no one’s even breathing until they finished picking up all Junhoe’s stuffs. Bobby stood up after helping Junhoe and went directly outside the room without saying anything, not even looking back.

Junhoe followed after he finished fixing his things inside his luggage. He saw his friends chatting and all ready to go. He can saw the excitement on each of them but all he cares was his sleep.

“Yah… Look at this man. You move like a girl.” Yunhyeong said while watching Junhoe walk down the stairs.

“Hyung, did you know that you talk like a girl? You talk too much.” Junhoe responded.

Everyone laughed at what Junhoe said to Yunhyeong. Yunhyeong was pissed and spank Junhoe’s butt then run fast out of the house, leaving Junhoe so upset! All you can hear are loud laughters from the boys as they picked their things up and leave Junhoe’s house. There are three cars outside, Chanwoo’s black Hummer, Hanbin’s white Jeep Wrangler and Bobby’s black RAM. The twins will ride their cousin Donghyuk on Chanwoo’s truck. Clearly, Jinhwan and Junhoe cannot ride the same car because neither of them know to drive. Even though Bobby wants to ride with Hanbin, it won’t be possible.

Hanbin and Bobby are cousins. They are well known for being the notorious duo. Guys in town doesn’t like them yet no one dares to compete with them. No girl doesn’t scream when they pass by, no girl doesn’t know their names.

“Bobby hyung, let Junhoe ride with you.” Donghyuk grinned. 

“I agree. Hanbin hyung and Jinhwan hyung can manage their selves.” Chanwoo added with a smirk on his face. Bobby just stare at Junhoe’s reaction.

These two including Yunhyeong always wants to tease their friends. Junhoe and Bobby are their favorite. Who doesn’t? All of them wants the two to be close and stop being awkward at each other.

Junhoe and Jinhwan stared at each other. As if they are talking subconsciously, reading each others’ mind without even saying a word. Junhoe raised his brows asking for help from Jinhwan. Jinhwan understood it and started to speak.

“Okay to be fair. Let’s play rock, paper, scissors. Best of two”

First round: Jinhwan-rock ; Junhoe-paper  
Second round: Jinhwan rock; Junhoe-scissor  
Third round: Jinhwan-scissors ; Junhoe-paper

Without a choice, Junhoe picked up his luggage, put it inside Bobby’s car and sat on the passenger seat. He looked outside and he saw everyone dying of laughter, Hanbin was pushing Bobby and even Jinhwan whom he thought will understand him enjoyed the result. He became more upset given that he drank last night and didn’t get enough sleep. All his anger subside when he noticed that Bobby is approaching the car.

“Can someone please tell me why are we so awkward? Junhoe whispered to his self. He close his eyes, take a deep breath and let out a loud sigh.


	3. [2] Inside Bobby’s car

They are already travelling for 30-45 minutes now. Junhoe is on his phone since the moment they leave. No one is talking, no one makes extra movement, no one dares to even breathe. Both of them feels the high tension and awkwardness between them.

“Umm.. about earlier….. thank you.” Junhoe said, breaking the silence between them.

“Huh?” Bobby confusingly looks at Junhoe who’s still focused on his phone.

“For helping me with my things.”

“Oh yeah… that one. That’s… nothing.” Bobby said returning his sight on the road.  
“Are you bored? You can connect your phone to the stereo if you want.” He added.

Junhoe didn’t respond at what Bobby offered. Another silence awkwardness eats them. Bobby decided to open the stereo to at least calm his self. The moment when Bobby reached for the stereo, Junhoe also tries to reach it at the same time. Junhoe stopped and retreat his hand from extending and immediately go back to his phone. Bobby successfully opened the stereo but his hands seems like glued to the power button. He was surprised, he can’t move.

Hours passed and Junhoe is already sleeping soundly in the passenger seat. Bobby doesn’t know why he can’t stop glancing at sleeping Junhoe. He don’t understand why he keeps on concerning his self to Junhoe, all he know is that he’s seeing that Junhoe is having a hard time with his sleeping position. Bobby suddenly pull over the car and volume down the stereo. He fixed Junhoe’s seat so that he can lay and sleep better. He can’t help but to stare at Junhoe’s perfect God-like features. His thick brows, his long eyelashes that covers a deep mysterious chestnut colored eyes, his high-bridge nose and his perfect rose-like red lips. He never seen Junhoe’s face this long before and this almost less than 5 inches close before. He just stared at Junhoe, thinking nothing but thoughts of “Why are we awkward and not close?” He just came back to his senses when his phone rang.

“I can’t see your car behind, where are you?” Hanbin asked.

“I just pull over few minutes ago just to fix something.”

“Okay, we are pulling over on a fast food chain, let’s grab something to eat.”

“Okay, okay. Be there in a minute.”

Bobby ended the call and saw that Junhoe is full awake and back again on his phone. Bobby froze.

“Didn’t realized I fell asleep.” Junhoe said.

“OH! UHHH.. NO IT’S OKAY. Ha-Hanbin said that we’ll pull over to eat.” Bobby said, fixing his eyes on the road and hardly trying not to glance at Junhoe.

“Oh, okay.”  
“Ummmm… I’m sorry I fell asleep.” Junhoe added.

Bobby’s still frozen, didn’t know how to respond. His hands are sweating, he is shaking, he can’t breathe. His worried that maybe Junhoe caught him earlier.

Junhoe looked at Bobby with confusion. He’s thinking that maybe he done something that angered Bobby. Maybe what he did is really wrong, maybe sleeping is really a mistake, the reason why Bobby’s ain’t answering him.

“I’m really sorry Bobby hyung… uuhhh… I won’t sleep again.” Junhoe said while looking back and forth at Bobby’s face and his phone, waiting for Bobby’s respond.

“No, it’s okay. After we eat, you can sleep the whole trip until we reached our destination.” Bobby answered not even glancing at Junhoe’s side.

“Oh….??” Junhoe’s was surprised at what Bobby said. He was disappointed at how Bobby responded. This is the respond he wanted to hear but he don’t understand why he’s disappointed. No one dares to open up a conversation again until they reached the fast food chain they’re going to eat at.


	4. [3] Junhoe’s POV

I don’t know if I’ve done something terrible to make Bobby hyung act like this. I hope I didn’t do anything to upset him. It’ll be more awkward for the two of us.

I was checking on Bobby hyung’s expressions from time to time while talking with our friends. Maybe he’ll change the way he treat them if he’s upset. I don’t know anything about his reactions, so, I can’t really tell. I shook my head and looked up at the menu board while lining to order our food.

“Why do I even care?” I asked myself.

“What are we going to eat?” Jinhwan hyung asked me while stabbing me with his little finger on my waist.

“Huh?” I can’t even focus on what he’s saying. My mind was clouded by… by something.

“Waaaah. You’re really hungry, aren’t you?”  
“Okay, let’s order something heavy to fill our tummies.” Jinhwan hyung added. I looked at him and saw him smiling from ear to ear. He’s doing his aegyo again.

After we order, we sit on our table and join the conversation of the group. I tell myself that I won’t bother myself with Bobby hyung’s action from now. I’m not supposed to do that, I’m not used doing that.

“Anything bothering you?” Jinhwan hyung asked.

“Oh, no, nothing.” I replied.

“You sure?” He asked for confirmation but I know I can’t lie. He knows me more than I know myself.

“Ummm.. earlier at Bobby hyung’s car……” I haven’t finished my sentence yet when Jinhwan hyung cut me with what I’m saying.

“Yeah! I knew it. You want to exchange with me? Are you bothered because you two are awkward inside his car? I know you can’t shut your mouth for even a second, that’s hard for you.” He tease.

“Oh, no, no. Yes we’re awkward, but that’s not what I’m talking about”

“So?”

“I think I feel something earlier. Bobby hyung nearly…. umm… never mind. Just finish your food.”

“Bobby what?”

“Uhhhh.. Ummmmm.. I think Bobby hyung is mad. I fell asleep while he’s driving.”

“Damn Juneeeya! That was rude. You can’t fall asleep in a long trip. You should keep entertaining the one who’s driving so he won’t get sleepy too.”

“I know! I know! That’s why… I don’t know.” I look down and feel feel gloomy. Jinhwan hyung is right. Crap! I definitely did something wrong.

“You want to exchange with me?”

“Can I?”

“Sure. I’ll tell them.”

We’re done with our foods and decided to leave to arrive early at our destination.

“Yah, Hanbin-ah…..” Jinhwan hyung called. He can’t continue with what his saying because someone interrupted.

“Junhoe, Let’s go.”

I was startled when Bobby hyung called me without even looking at me. He went directly outside the restaurant. I can’t do anything but to follow him without even looking back. I know that Jinhwan hyung will pest me for an explanation later. What is happening with me? I’ve never been this scared to anyone before. Can someone please tell me? I pouted and let a loud sigh to ease myself.


	5. [4] Junhoe’s POV

[4] Junhoe’s POV

We’re already here at the airport to catch our flight going to Cagayan de Oro. It’s already past lunch when we arrive. My friends can’t leave their cars behind so they decided to cargo it from Manila to Cagayan de Oro. Our flight will be at 2:00pm, so we decided to roam around while waiting for our flight. Jinhwan hyung was pesting me since the time we arrived here. I don’t know what to tell him, I don’t even know why I am acting like this.

“Tell me. Did Bobby threatened you? I will talk to him.”

“I already said it over and over, no.”

“Then why are you following his instructions? The last time I checked you don’t know the word “rules”. Even your parents can’t tame you.”

“It’s just that I left my luggage there, and don’t you like it? Maybe this is the time that Bobby hyung and I will stop being awkward after this trip.”

“Okay, okay. I got it! I believe you. I know you for so long.” Jinhwan hyung said and pat my back.

Bobby hyung and I doesn’t have any conversation when we’re on our way here. I just watched UFC on my phone and try to stay awake. He didn’t bother to start one, so I don’t mind. I think we’re okay. This is how everything’s supposed to be. This is how we supposed to be.

We are walking when a group of 3 girls approached us. They want to take a photo with Hanbin hyung and of course Bobby hyung. Who doesn’t know them? Who doesn’t recognize the notorious duo? We’re used to it. Both of them welcomed the girls and accepted their requests. 

“How about us? Don’t you want to take a photo with us too?” Yunhyeong said.

“Hyung, you’re hopeless.” Donghyuk answered.

Everyone laugh even the girls, making Yunhyeong so embarrassed. He punch Donghyuk’s arm then start to walk again. Donghyuk try to catch his cousin but Yunhyeong run fast after realizing that he is being chased. Time passed by so fast, we didn’t notice that it’s already boarding time. 

When we’re travelling, I can only sit near by the window. Everyone knows it. So they allow me to choose my seat so they can take theirs. Next to me is Jinhwan hyung, in the middle column seats are the twins and Donghyuk, Chanwoo is between Donghyuk and Yunhyeong. Across is Hanbin hyung who’s already sleeping then Bobby hyung who’s wearing his red beats headphone looking out of the window.

I decided to sleep since it will take us 2-3hrs before we arrive at our destination but Jinhwan hyung won’t let me. He keeps on bugging me if I won’t talk to him. Fortunately he fell asleep after an hour. Before closing my eyes I try to check my friends and they’re all sleeping.

After hours of travel we’re already here in Cagayan de Oro, a limo pick us up going to the twins rest house. Bobby hyung was already sitting lazily near by the window.

“Yah, Bobby-ya! Let Junhoe sit there. He will surely puke if not.” Hanbin hyung said.

“I’m tired. Can I sit here just for this time.” He answered without looking at us.

“We are all tired. Please, hyung. I don’t want my dad’s limo to smell like shit. He definitely drank last night.” Chanwoo said.

“No, it’s okay. I’ll seat beside Jinhwan hyung.” I added to cut them off. We are all tired so I also need to adjust for them.

“You sure, you okay? Don’t puke inside my dad’s limo you jerk! I will beat you up!” Yunhyeong said then laugh.

“In your dreams. I won’t get beaten by you.”

“Can’t you see this?” Yunhyeong said while flexing his guns.

“Want to see my treasure?” I smiled teasingly.

Everyone was waiting for Yunhyeong’s answer but he didn’t respond to what I said and immediately go inside the limo. We just laugh out loud at Yunhyeong’s reaction. Such a clown! I’m glad there’s no tension. I know that we’re gonna enjoy our summer break since Jinhwan hyung, Hanbin hyung and Bobby hyung are already 4th year this coming semester. We will surely miss times like this.

All we did on our 30 minutes travel in their limo was to crack jokes and play. This is life! I hope we’ll stay like this. It’s just that, I feel a little uncomfortable since Bobby hyung is not joining us. Most of the time he’s the one who starts the conversation but not today, I think he’s really tired. 

“Finally we’re here! I’m so tired.” Donghyuk said.

“Do we have any plans for tonight?” Jinhwan hyung lively ask.

“Can we rest first then start our day tomorrow, pleeeease!!” Hanbin hyung said convincing Jinhwan hyung with his aegyo while stomping his feet.

“I’ll start being close to Junhoe.” Bobby hyung uttered out of the blue. I am surprised but I keep quiet.

“Wah.. You’re gaining your balls now huh Bobby-ya?” Yunhyeong said then laugh.

“I will be close to him more than Jinhwan hyung. That’s the plan.” Bobby looked at me with his cold eyes.

Okaaaaaay…? WAIT! What was that again? Shit!


	6. [5] Bobby’s POV

I’m still startled seeing Junhoe awake beside me earlier in my car. We’re here at a fast food chain to grab something to eat. I just started a conversation to ease what I’m feeling. I tried to be goofy and tell funny stories to my friends. Yes, this works. I try hard not to look at Junhoe but I’m side eyeing him every five damn seconds. It was like I committed a crime and I am feeling very guilty about it. Maybe this will pass. I know it will!

We are having a little talks while eating. I can’t help but notice Jinhwan hyung and Junhoe having their own world. They’re whispering to each other. What are they talking about? I can’t hear it! Fuck. Feels like I’m dying if I’ll never get to know what they’re talking about. I tried to ignore it and continue with my foods.

When we are already done eating and about to leave the restaurant, Jinhwan hyung tried to talk to Hanbin. Is he going to exchange ride with Junhoe? I can’t think clearly, is he? Is Junhoe going to ride with Hanbin?

“Junhoe, Let’s go.” I said then go out immediately.

What the fuck did I just said? Come on Kim Jiwon! What are you thinking. I thought Junhoe won’t come but I was surprised seeing him behind me. Now I’m thinking nothing. I’m satisfied and nervous at the same time. Why am I feeling this? Why am I acting like this? Is this how awkward people treat each other? I’m completely clueless.

I didn’t even try to talk or start a conversation on our way to the airport. I wanted to speak to him, I wanted to open a conversation but I couldn’t. My lungs are filled with heavy stones that makes it hard for me to breathe. This will pass. Again, I know it will pass.

Junhoe is always glued to Jinhwan hyung. They’re inseparable. I hope I am also close to Junhoe like Jinhwan hyung. I think Junhoe is cool and happy to be with. He’s mysterious, yes, but I think it is one of his unique personality. I am starting to get curious on how Junhoe’s mind works.

Couple of girls approached us asking to take a photo with us. They are all pretty and sexy so I agreed, we’re used to it. It’s kinda normal actually. I’ve dated couple of girls who liked me before. It’s their request, I can’t say no. So, yeah.

When we’re already flying, I just listen to the music and watch the clouds outside. I saw Jinhwan hyung and Junhoe having their own world again. I try hard to sleep but I can’t. When I open my eyes everyone’s already sleeping, I can’t help but to stare at Junhoe’s perfect God-like face. I think it is my new favorite thing, to stare at sleeping Junhoe. He really changes when he’s asleep. How can a person do that? Maybe it is one of the reasons why many girls are head over heels for him. He doesn’t know it because he doesn’t care about his surroundings. All of him are for Jinhwan hyung only and it irritates me. I don’t mind it before but now I’m being greedy. Can I have even just a small portion of him? I am close to everyone, I am everyone’s best friend except him.

“I’m tired. Can I sit here just for this time.” I said without looking at them.

We were picked up by the twins limo from the airport terminal, I know that Junhoe can’t travel if he’s not sitting near by the window. I don’t know what I’m doing here but I want to test something.

“No, it’s okay. I’ll seat beside Jinhwan hyung.” Junhoe said.

WHAT? I’m just waiting for him to ask me if he can sit here, I would gladly to give him this spot. I just want him to start a conversation with me. Damn! I made a wrong move. They were having a good time the whole trip, I just sat there and keep quiet. I am thinking ways to resolve everything. Maybe I should take the lead and just go with the flow afterwards. So I came up with a plan.

“I’ll start being close to Junhoe.” Not realizing that I’m thinking out loud.

“Wah.. You’re gaining your balls now huh Bobby-ya?” Yunhyeong said then laugh.

“I will be close to him more than Jinhwan hyung. That’s the plan.” I looked at Junhoe and I can see that he’s panicking.

What the fuck is wrong with me and my decisions today? But yes, that’s the plan. That’s what I’m going to do. I’ll give my best shot. I’ll make sure that after this trip, Junhoe and I are like brothers because of our closeness.

Everyone was laughing to what I said. I walk towards where Junhoe is standing, he tries to step back a little that irritates me. Am I really that intimidating?

“Let me help you with your things.” I said to Junhoe.

“Ummmm.. no… no thanks. I’m okay with my things.” He answered.  
“I think Jinhwan hyung needs more help.” He added.

I looked at Jinhwan hyung and saw that he’s fine carrying his things. Unlike him that’s holding 3 bags and one of Jinhwan hyung’s bag. I snatched the one in his hand then walk.

“Yah! Bobby hyung, I can handle it.” Junhoe shouted while following me.

I’m not listening to what he’s saying until we enter the twins house. I think, teasing Junhoe will be a way to get close to him. He’ll get upset but I guess it’ll work. Teasing him will be my new hobby. Let’s see. I don’t like the feeling of losing so I’ll make sure I’ll win this.


	7. [6] Bobby’s POV

Junhoe is standing beside me, he’s still asking for the bag I snatched from him. I tried to give it back so I extended my arms trying to give the bag back but when he tries to reach the bag from my hand, the bag slipped and fell to the floor. I can see that Junhoe is surprised and upset with what happened. I was also surprised. I didn’t even move.

“That’s it?” He said looking directly at the bag on the floor.  
“Is this your way of getting close to me? Okay, let’s see if you’ll make a progress.” He added then smirk.

“ Wah… I knew it. The moment Bobby hyung said that, I know nothing good will happen.” Hanbin said then shook his head.

“I thought you wanna be close to him huh Bobby-ya? Stop that nonsense play of yours.” Jinhwan hyung said that really irritates me. I’m not like this before. I used to listen to everything he says but now, I don’t want him protecting or getting involve with Junhoe.

“No, it’s okay. Let him be.” Junhoe interrupted then stare at me.

His stares sent shivers down to my spine. I never felt anything like this before. I think I’m getting excited with the challenge he’s raising.

“Okay, try me.” I smirk at Junhoe. It’s not really my intention to drop the bag. It really slipped out of my hand but I won’t admit it. Instead I pretend that it’s really my intention and accepted Junhoe’s challenge. Whatever it takes to get close to him.

We are all tired and wanted to get some rest. There are only 3 available rooms so we need to decide who’s going to sleep where. The twins and Donghyuk will be in largest room upstairs and the two rooms will be divided to us. I think being in the same room with Junhoe will be a great opportunity to get close to him. Jinhwan hyung said he wanted the room on the left. Junhoe wants to be with Jinhwan hyung but Hanbin also wants the ambiance from that room. I walked immediately in the room at the right side. 

“If you two really want to be in that room and only one can sleep there. Why don’t you try rock, paper, scissors?” I suggested.

I can see that Junhoe’s ears are turning red. He’s really upset. I’m not sure who will win this but I’ll be glad to see angry Junhoe when he lost to Hanbin.

First round: Hanbin -rock ; Junhoe-scissors  
Third round: Hanbin -scissors ; Junhoe-paper

I laugh really hard because of the result. I didn’t expect that Junhoe won’t score, not even once. Hanbin was celebrating and even the other boys are laughing and start teasing Junhoe. Jinhwan hyung can’t do anything. He whispered something to Junhoe then pat his back. What was that for? 

Junhoe picked up his things and went directly towards me. I was surprised. OKAAAAAAYY??… I’m not ready with the concept of him sharing the room with me. I haven’t thought of the consequences. Fuck! I was blocking the open door of the room since I was watching their rock, paper, scissors. I was surprised when I was pressed against the door when he tried to force himself on the space beside me to enter our room. I froze, I can’t move. We are too close. He move as if it’s nothing to do with him. How come I’m so affected by that? He’s already fixing his things while I’m still here standing and can’t move. What the fuck is this reaction?


	8. [7] Junhoe’s POV

I’m still catching my breathe because of what happened. Me and Bobby? In the same room!? How come? Everything was fine when we’re awkward. Maybe sleeping in the same room with him will not be a big deal for me. Can we go back to what we are before? Why did he changed all of a sudden? If he wants to get close to me, I can do that. I also want to get close to him but I can’t understand his ways. Should I believe him? Should I avoid him? Or maybe I should be the one to make the right action for us to get close? I can’t think clearly! My mind is clouded of thoughts over another. I’m tired.

“I’ll be sleeping at the right side of the bed.” Bobby hyung said.

“I won’t be able to sleep if I’ll let you.”

“Then don’t sleep. Watch me while I’m sleeping.” He smiled teasingly.

“You serious hyung?” I raised my brows to him. I am like a bomb who will explode anytime now.

“Do I look like I’m kidding?”

“Hyung, I’m tired. Can we just stop?” He didn’t respond. I sigh.  
“Okay, do whatever you want to do. I don’t want to start another fight with you.”

“It’s good having fight with you.”

“Huh?”

“At least we’re having a conversation. At least you’re talking to me now. At least you know that I exist.” He said looking straight to my eyes with no expression but I can see his sincerity.

My jaw dropped to what he said. I can’t continue fixing my things. Is this what he really felt before? He thought I never knew he existed? How can he say that? There are lot of questions I thought don’t need answers. But suddenly, it floods my mind.

“You’re staring at me again.” He uttered.

Bobby hyung walk slowly towards where I’m standing. His every step closes the space between us and when he’s already too close, I step back a little. He put his mouth on my ears and whisper;

“Yunhyeong said that the food is ready. Let’s go out and eat.”

I was glued to where I’m standing. My muscles were locked and can’t move. I’m so thrilled. It felt like something inside my chest wants to burst. What is this foreign feeling I’m having right now? I’m catching my breathe again, not because of anger, but because of something that I still don’t know.

Bobby hyung slowly step back then go directly at the door and open it. I’m still statued and didn’t even move an inch. Before he go out of the room, he look back to me;

“It’s good to see that you’re affected in what I’m doing to you.”  
“The same way I’m affected by you even if you’re doing nothing.” He smiled then left.

WHAT DID JUST HAPPENED? WHAT WAS THAT? FUCK! I CAN’T THINK STRAIGHT. I CAN’T STILL MOVE.


	9. [8] Junhoe’s POV

I decided to go out and eat with my friends. I’m still trembling because of what happened inside the room. I don’t know how to face Bobby hyung and the others. My mind is full of “why’s’”. I came back to my senses when Jinhwan hyung jumped on my back. I just look at him and continue walking.

“Why? What Bobby did to you this time?” Jinhwan hyung asked.

“HUH? WHAT? NO! IT’S NOT LIKE THAT, IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!” I panicked. Jinhwan hyung just stared blankly at me.

“What are you talking about? I’m just asking because most of the times I jumped on you, nasty words comes out of your mouth. But it’s different now. Am I missing something huh June-ya?”

“NO. NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.” I feign a laugh, and immediately rush to the dining area not even looking back.

When I am already near, I can hear their laughters and voices, Yunhyeong was telling something funny. I can’t enter the dining area until Jinhwan hyung pulled me inside. I just stare at his back head while pulling me. He offer the seat next to where he will sit, I don’t know why but the first thing I did was to check if Bobby hyung was looking. He was laughing at Yunhyeong’s story and didn’t notice that I’m here already. HOW DARE HE? After what he did? Is he playing with me? Or is it really normal to him? I looked away and sit down. 

“I can’t understand Bobby hyung” I told Jinhwan hyung.

“Yeah, I can’t also even understand why he’s acting strange lately.” 

“Is he? I’m not close with him so I don’t know.”

“I think so? Or maybe he’s just being too goofy lately. You’ll get used to it.” Jinhwan hyung gave me affirmation.  
“So what really happened?” He added.

“He was just bugging me inside our room, I don’t know. Don’t you want to exchange room with him?”

“He won’t let me.”

“Why?”

“He won’t give up what he wants.” My heart skipped a bit to what he said.  
“I think he really like the room.” He continued.

“Ohh?….. I see.”  
“When he says he wants to get close to me, did he really mean it?” I added.

“I think so. He’s friendly. I can feel that he really wants to be close to you. Give him time.” He smiled.  
“And I know you’ll tell me if he’s really getting in to your nerves, you never missed telling every details to me.” Jinhwan hyung smiled.

“Of course” I said avoiding Jinhwan hyung’s eye contact. I looked at Bobby hyung’s direction but he’s busy with their conversation.

My hands are sweating. This is the first time I haven’t told Jinhwan hyung everything. I used to depend on him, like A LOT. But yeah, I’m not hiding something from him. So, I think it’s okay? Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm using character's/main character's POV as a chapter title to not spoil the content or flow of the chapter itself 😅 I hope it won't gave you confusion.


	10. [9] Junhoe’s POV

The table is full of different foods. From different viand like turkey, beef, chicken, pork, seafood, we also have pasta, and even desserts is overflowing on the dining table. It looks like we’re having a feast at the moment. The twins really prepared for this trip. Well, we won’t be surprised since their parents are really generous. I try hard not to bother myself with Bobby hyung and let myself drown on these foods.

We are happily eating all the food in front of us. Jinhwan hyung is pesting me to feed him. Such a baby! Anyways, I’m used to it so I just feed him everything, specially chicken it’s his favorite. He’s a nuisance sometimes but still, I don’t know what to do without him and I like it when he’s acting cute just to get what he wants. But he really act as my big brother most of the times. I was removing the shell of shrimps and crabs first since these are my most favorite foods. Every bite really feels like heaven! Uggghhh.

Everyone was really enjoying the food, I noticed that Bobby hyung place only few food on his plate. I don’t know if that’s really the amount he used to eat. No one seems to notice and no one seems to care so I disregard my thoughts. We’re all having a good conversation while eating, we’re all laughing and sharing our own sides of the story. But I don’t know? I keep concerning myself with Bobby hyung even though he didn’t notice that I’m already here earlier. I think someone should notice at least.

“Want some?” I asked him, extending my arms and giving him the crab meat I’m holding.

Everyone’s busy talking. He just stared at me with surprised face. Is he ignoring me? When I’m about to retreat my arms from extending, he grab the crab meat.

“Thank you.” He said looking at the meat I gave him.

“Tell me if you want more, I can remove the shell for you.” I smiled.

“Sure, give me some more.”  
“Make sure it will fill my huge tummy.” He excitedly smiled back.

Finally, a conversation without a fight nor even awkwardness. I start removing shells of shrimps and crabs for me and Bobby hyung. I think it’s good that everyone is busy with their business and no one seems noticing us. They will start to tease us that might end us being awkward again. I’m just placing meats over his plate and I’m glad to see that Bobby hyung seems enjoying it. Maybe he’s just shy? Or most probably he’s just lazy to get his own food.

“You are good in removing shells, huh?”

“These are my favorites, so I should know how to properly eat these.”

“Good point.” He says with mouth full.

“There’s a lot of food here, just go and dig in.”

“Naaahh.. I’m okay with these.” He pointed out his plate with the meats I gave him.

I grab some beef and chicken and put it on his plate. He smiled widely.

“Waaaah.. You’re too much!”  
“I don’t think I can finished this.” He laugh.

“You can! Let your tummy feel satisfied.” I said and start eating the food in my plate. I also look after Jinhwan hyung if he’s done eating. Everything’s fine. I’m relieved and let out a sigh.


	11. [10] Bobby’s POV

My head’s still spinning when I tried to open my eyes. There’s a bright light in front of me the reason I can’t see clearly who are these people in front of me.

“Yah! Bobby-ya! You okay?” I can’t still determine who’s talking.

“Are you good now? Are you fully awake?”

I tried to blink my eyes couple of times and tried to adjust with the bright light I’m seeing. I tried to get up and sit down but my body doesn’t allow me. I also feel the needle pricked in my hand connected to a tube with liquid.

“What are you thinking when you tried to eat those shrimps and crabs? Are you insane?” That’s Hanbin who’s talking for sure.

“Clearly he still can’t look after his self.” Jinhwan hyung added.

“Where’s Junhoe?” I asked.  
“Is he here? Where is he?” I added.

No one answered me. What the hell is wrong with these people? Can’t they answer a simple question? They’re all complete here. I tried to look around and see if someone’s not here aside from Junhoe. I looked from my left to right -- Chanwoo, Hanbin, Donghyuk, Yunhyeong and Jinhwan hyung. Okay?….. So where is he?

“Don’t stress yourself too much Bobby hyung, you still need to rest.” Donghyuk said. I can see that he’s really concern with my situation.

“Why did you that?” I can sense irritation and anger on Jinhwan hyung’s voice.  
“Did you really want to tease Junhoe so much? Did you really wanna see him suffer out of guilt?”

“What!? What are you saying?” I can’t understand Jinhwan hyung’s point.

“We all know that you have intense allergy in seafoods! You know that Bobby-ya!! You’re not close to Junhoe so you take advantage of his innocence? Fuck your non-sense play!”

“Jinhwan hyung, let Bobby hyung rest first. We can talk about this later.” Chanwoo said.

“I can’t understand your ways Bobby-ya, why are you acting like this?” Jinhwan hyung asked then go out of the room.

“Just rest for now Bobby-ya, we’ll come back later.” Yunhyeong said.

“Oh?…. Okay.”

I’m confused, I’m puzzled, what does Jinhwan hyung is talking about? Me? Wanting June-ya to suffer? WHAT!? Where did that come from? Yes, I liked teasing him. Yes, I like bothering him. But I didn’t want him to suffer.

“Can you please tell Junhoe to see me? Please?” I beg to anyone of them.

“Not now Bobby hyung. You need to rest first.” Hanbin said then they left my room one by one.

That’s the only time Junhoe and I talked casually and now Jinhwan hyung’s saying that I have a bad intention doing that? Damn! If they just knew. I am on cloud nine at that time.


	12. [11] Bobby’s POV

I’ve been here in the hospital for 3days now. I’m getting better, I don’t know why the doctors won’t allow me to go home. I’m ruining our vacation, the boys wasted their 3days worrying about me and.. and.. I haven’t seen Junhoe that long. How come he didn’t even visit his hyung when he knew that I was having a hard time? Jinhwan hyung will visit me with the boys but seldom talk to me. I don’t really get why he’s upset.

I was sitting on my bed and was on my phone when the door opened. I saw Junhoe entering my room for the first time in 3days. I was surprised and happy at the same time. I tried to compose myself and stop myself from smiling.

“How are you now hyung?” He asked not looking directly at me.

“Yah! Look at you! How dare you to not visit me for the past 2days?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t face you that time yet. I don’t know how to react with what happened to you. Y-you.. just collapsed on your chair when we were playing after we eat. We rush you here because… because… uummmm.. you aren’t responding.” Junhoe explained.

I can sense that he’s panicking, he’s scared, he’s worried. Damn! I can feel something in my tummy that tickling me. It felt like there’s something revolutionary happening down there. Is this because of my allergy?

“Did I make you worry? I didn’t mean to.” I said to calm him. He raise his head and look straightly in my eyes. His eyes are wet, trying hard to stop the tears from falling.

“I’m really sorry hyung, it’s my fault. I didn’t know that you have a severe allergy in sea foods.” I was shocked to what he said. Is he blaming his self the whole time because of what happened to me? Is that the reason why Jinhwan hyung is upset? Crap! He’s still protecting Junhoe and it irritates me. A LOT!

“No. It’s not your fault. I ate it because I want to.” I said and smile. I saw the sudden changed in his eyes, it went from worried to anger.

“Then why did you ate them? Did you really hate me that much huh Bobby hyung!?” He raised his voice.

“N-no, i-it’s not like that.” I panicked.

“Is it really not your intention? You know that you can be worst when we arrived here in the hospital later than the time we brought you here.”

“Yes, I know. I know.” I answered sadly facing my feet on the ground

“Then why did you ate them huh?”

“Because it came from you!! Because you talked to me that night. Because you care. Because you noticed. Isn’t that enough reason?!” I vent out and look directly at him. He closes his eyes and let a loud sigh.

“Please don’t make us worried again. Please don’t make me worried again. Please don’t let me carry the guilt, because I can’t.” He said with his soft voice that sounds like an angel whispering to my ears.  
“I’m sorry again Bobby hyung” He looked down. I can feel his sincerity. I am shocked. But I am happy.

“Jiwon. Call me Jiwon.” I responded.


	13. [12] Junhoe’s POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took me so long to update this story. I've been busy with iKON's Anniversary. But don't worry, I'll try to add some chapters from time to time :)

[12] Junhoe’s POV

We already finished our food and go directly to the living room to play some games. I’m glad Bobby hyung liked the food I gave him. I’m thinking that maybe we both love seafood. We are all full and satisfied with our dinner. When we reached the living room, Donghyuk decided to play cards. He brought out his UNO cards and smile devilishly. Oh come on! This card play will ruin our friendship. The last time we played it, Jinhwan hyung and I didn’t talk for almost two days. Can’t make promise it won’t happen again. I sigh.

“Are you ready to lose again, huh, June-ya?” Jinhwan hyung asked. Then smile. Fuck, he’s starting it.

“I never lose on you hyung, you cheated.”

“ No, I wasn’t. You were the one who cheated.”

“Pfffft. As if you have evidence to prove it?”

“What the hell? The game hasn’t started yet.” Hanbin hyung said.

“We’re in our house and I can sense that I’ll be winning this.” Chanwoo confidently said then grinned.

“We should have a prize for the winner and consequence to anyone who will lose.” Donghyuk suggested.

“That’s a great idea!” Yunhyeong excitedly agreed, clapping his hands.

We’re all thinking and suggesting what should the winner get and what should the loser do.

“The winner should get all that he wants to eat. Then the loser should get nothing.” Bobby hyung suggested.

“That was too much Bobby hyung!” Chanwoo said.

“The winner can go anywhere he wants to go after this trip. Then the loser should pay for it!” Hanbin hyung said.

“Nah.. That’s too lame Hanbin-ah! Okay, here’s a good catch that I know everyone will agree.” Jinhwan hyung stepped up.  
“The loser will be the winner’s slave for a day.”

“OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH” Everyone shouted then laugh.

“That would be interesting! I don’t want to lose my shit on this game.” Donghyuk chuckled.

“Yah.. June-ya! I’ll be preparing the maid’s clothes for you.” Yunhyeong told me then laugh.

“Don’t you think you’ll be preparing it for yourself?” I smirk.

“Well, Yunhyeong-ah if that will be the case, I should definitely win this.” Bobby hyung said then glance at me.

Damn! He’s in it again. He’s starting to annoy me again. Crap! I thought everything’s fine now. What is he up to now?

From the moment I saw that red box full of cards inside, I know it will ruin all of us but I won’t lose.

The game already started! Everyone’s eyeing on someone, everyone’s protecting their cards, everyone’s serious. I look around and see that no one wants to lose. I noticed that Bobby hyung is not that interested in what we’re playing, opposite on how he reacts earlier. I looked away ‘cause I can’t be distracted. It’s my turn now and I should place a good card. It’s Bobby hyung’s turn now and I can’t help but notice that he’s turning red and he can’t stop scratching. No one’s paying attention. What the fuck is wrong with him?

“I’ll just go get some water.” Bobby hyung said and stand up.

When he tries to take a step he suddenly falls down unconsciously. Everyone panicked.

“Yah! Bobby-ya! Bobby-ya wake up!” Hanbin hyung tried to wake him up but Bobby hyung’s not responding.  
“The fuck! This bastard ate seafood! What the fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”

“Chanwoo-ya get the car out! We need to rush Bobby to the hospital now!” Yunhyeong panicked!

“Wait! What? So what if Bobby hyung ate seafood? Is that the reason why he’s unconscious now?”

“Bobby has a severe allergy on seafood June-ya! He can be worse if we can’t rush him to the hospital now!” Jinhwan hyung shouted. He looked at me like he’s trying to examine me.

I just stared at him with my mouth wide open. Tears started to form in my eyes. I can see Hanbin hyung and Yunhyeong carried Bobby inside the car. I can’t move! I should have known. I should know! Why did he ate the seafood if he has an allergy on those? Is this my fault? Is it? It is my fault. Drops of water flows out my eyes. It’s all my fault.


	14. [13] Junhoe’s POV

[13] Junhoe’s POV

“Yah! June-ya hop inside the car now! We need to leave!” Donghyuk shouted at me

They are all already inside the car. I can’t see Bobby hyung in that situation knowing that I am the reason behind it. I shook my head while tears are flowing like a river then run inside the house.

“YAH!!! JUNE-YAAAA!!”

“We have no time Jinhwan hyung! Let him be. We need to rush Bobby hyung to the hospital!” I heard Hanbin hyung said.

I went straightly inside my room. I just sat there and stared blankly on the wall. My guilt was eating me so hard. I want to know how Bobby hyung is but I can’t. Damn! Why is he torturing me? Does he really need to sacrifice his health just to make me suffer? I know he can be worse. I know that it’s possible for him not to wake up. He ate a lot of seafood earlier! I GAVE HIM A LOT! There’s no one to blame but me.

I lay down on my bed trying to sleep. I can’t stop myself from worrying about Bobby hyung. Yes, we’re not close, we’re awkward, he annoys me a lot but still, we are friends and I don’t want something to happen to him. I cry the whole night. It’s already 11:00 pm and my body’s tired, my eyes are tired, my mind’s tired. I didn’t notice that I already fell asleep. It’s already 8:00 am and the sun shines on my face. I quickly get up and ran out of the room. There’s no one outside.

“Excuse me, are they home?” I asked the maid.

“They haven’t come back yet, sir.” She answered.

“Oh..” I turned my back on her.

I want to know what happened. I’m starting to worry more. Why aren’t they home yet? Is everything okay? Fuck. I can’t think straight. I picked my phone up and dialed Jinhwan hyung’s number. It just kept on ringing. I dialed it again for 5 times but he ain’t answering. Oh come on! I tried to dial everyone’s number but no one’s answering! Crap! These are all my fault!

I just sat in the living room waiting for some news. It’s already past lunch but I haven’t received anything from them yet. Suddenly I heard an engine outside! I rush myself out and saw them getting off the car one by one, they all looked really tired. Finally, they’re home. I waited for them at the door. Yunhyeong pat my shoulder then go straightly inside. Same with the rest. 

“Where’s Bobby hyung?” I asked.

“Have you eaten? You can eat with us. I’ll ask the maid to prepare our food.” Chanwoo said.

“Why does Bobby hyung is not with you guys?” I confusingly asked.

“June-ya.. come with me.” Jinhwan hyung said.

Without a second thought, I followed Jinhwan hyung inside his room.

“Did you know that Bobby has an allergy to seafood?”

“Of course not! I wouldn’t give him one if I knew.” Tears form again but I try hard not to cry in front of him. It feels like there’s something stuck in my throat that I can’t swallow.

“Fuck, so Bobby really did that on purpose?”

“What are you talking about hyung? I can’t understand anything. How is Bobby hyung?”

“Who’s at fault why Bobby’s in the hospital now?” He calmly asks me but I don’t know why that question makes my tears fall down my cheeks.

“I am. I am the reason why. These are all my fault hyung. I’m sorry for causing you all the trouble. I’m sorry.” I cried.

“See? You’re blaming yourself! You’re carrying the guilt. I knew you would! I know you so well June-ya and I must say, it’s not your fault or anyone’s fault. I just don’t get why Bobby did that.”

“How is he hyung? Is he okay?”

“He’s already awake, fortunately. He still needs to be monitored and rest that’s why he needs to stay at the hospital for days. Do you want to visit him? We’ll be going later after we rest. You can come with us.”

“I don’t know hyung, I still can’t see Bobby hyung in that situation. I can’t see him knowing that I’m the reason why he’s in that state right now.” I looked down.

“Okay, it’s fine. But please don’t be too hard on yourself. You didn’t know. It’s not your fault.”

“I should have known. That’s the least I can do as a friend. But I failed.” I said then go out and went straightly inside my room. They’re calling me to eat with them but I don’t feel hungry. I just stayed inside my room thinking what I’ve done.


	15. [14] Junhoe’s POV

[14]Junhoe’s POV

Bobby hyung’s still in the hospital for 3 days now. He’s getting better as to what Jinhwan hyung said to me. I haven’t visited him, not even once. How should I face him? I don’t know what to say to him. I want to get angry at him but I’m moreover worried about his condition. Everyone’s tired since they spent their whole night looking out for Bobby hyung in the hospital. I took a bath and decided to visit him just this once. I arrived at the hospital around 10 am. I went straight to Bobby hyung’s room. When I’m already outside of his room, I just stand there for minutes. I don’t know how long it took me to have the courage to open the door. I saw him sitting on his bed and on his phone. I was startled seeing him looking straightly at me.

“How are you hyung?” I asked. I don’t know how to start our conversation.

“Yah! Look at you! How dare you to not visit me for the past 2days?” He responded not answering my question.

“I’m sorry, I can’t face you at that time yet. I don’t know how to react to what happened to you. Y-you.. just collapsed on your chair when we were playing after we eat. We rush you here because… because… uummmm.. you aren’t responding.” I said while trembling. The scenario is still fresh from my memories. It still panicked me remembering what happened. My tears are starting to form again. Crap! Not now, please.

“Did I make you worry? I didn’t mean to.” He asked. I can feel that he’s trying to calm me, he’s trying to make me feel that everything’s fine. But how can I stay calm? I breathed out.

“I’m really sorry hyung, it’s my fault. I didn’t know that you have a severe allergy to seafood.” I admitted. Even though Jinhwan hyung and others said that it’s not my fault, I still feel responsible for what happened to him.

“No. It’s not your fault. I ate it because I want to.” Bobby hyung panicked. I don’t know why but it feels like something’s off this time.

“Then why did you ate them? Did you really hate me that much huh Bobby hyung!?” I said not knowing that I’m shouting at him because of my intense emotions.

“N-no, i-it’s not like that.” He said while looking directly at my eyes. I can see that he wants to give me assurance but I need to get this out of my chest.

“Is it really not your intention? You know that you can be worst when we arrived here in the hospital later than the time we brought you here.” 

“Yes, I know. I know.” He looked sadly on the ground.

“Then why did you ate them huh?”

“Because it came from you!! Because you talked to me that night. Because you care. Because you noticed. Isn’t that enough reason?!” I don’t know how to react. I don’t know what to say. I can really feel that Bobby hyung just really want to be nice to me at that time but fuck! His ways made us worried and brought him here. I closed my eyes and let out a loud sigh before speaking.

“Please don’t make us worried again. Please don’t make me worried again. Please don’t let me carry the guilt, because I can’t. I’m sorry again Bobby hyung” I’m still guilty. I feel responsible but I don’t want him to worry about me. 

“Jiwon. Call me Jiwon.” He said. Uuuuhhmmmm?? Okay, what’s that for?

“Are you even listening to me huh Bobby hyung?” I said irritably.

“I told you to call me Jiwon!”

“What the fuck? Do you still want to annoy me even if you’re in that state? Come on hyung!”

“You’re the one who’s annoying me! I just want you to call me Jiwon, please?”

I didn’t respond. I just stare at him confusingly. I don’t get him at all. What the fuck is wrong with him? I’m seriously venting out what I really feel that I seldom do even to Jinhwan hyung then he will cut me with his command? I don’t know anymore. Should I leave then? I shook my head and decided to leave. 

When I was about to turn my back on him, he stood up from his bed. He slowly walked towards me, step by step, he didn’t break his eye contact with me little by little he closes the space between us. He’s just inches away from me. I don’t know why but I didn’t move. I just stared at him, he looks really pale. I guess he really had a hard time.

“Why are you here? What brought you here?” He asked still looking directly at my eyes.

“Because I want to know how are you. I want to know if you’re okay.”

“Didn’t Jinhwan hyung tell you how am I doing?”

“He did. They all did.”

“So?” He raised his brows waiting for my answer.

“Because I’m worried! Because I want to see with my own eyes if how are you now. I want to feel relieved at least. I want to tell you that I’m sorry. That’s why!” I said without stopping. I sighed and looked down.

I saw that he made steps towards me that his toes are already touching my toes. I tried to look up and see what he’s up to. There’s only about 2-3inches gap between us. I didn’t move, not because I’m surprised. I didn’t move because I don’t want to. Fuck!

“I’m glad to see you. It felt like 3 days is too long not being around with you.” He said placing his both hands on my shoulders.

I just stared at his eyes blankly. I can feel something revolutionary inside my stomach. I’m not sure but something’s getting clear here. This is bad! This can’t be? Isn’t it? I shouldn’t be feeling this. Am I making my feelings clear now?

“I’ll make sure that you and I are going to be close. More than what you think. More than that. I won’t lose in this because I already lose with myself. I’m gonna win this. I know for sure, I’m getting you.” Bobby hyung said as if he already has a plan.

“Okay, I’m curious how you’re going to do that. Being annoying won’t get me. Try harder….” I said trying to challenge him on what he’s thinking.  
“.…Jiwon hyung.” I added. I saw his satisfied smile when I call him that. 

My heart beats so fast. My breathing became heavy. I know I’m not the only one feeling this. I know I’m not. I’m not yet assured but I know I’m not. Let’s see what will happen next. I’m getting excited about this. I’m afraid and excited that this trip will be exceptional!


	16. [15] Bobby’s POV

[15] Bobby’s POV

I walked towards where Junhoe is standing. He didn’t move. I try to get closer to him. I need to assure what I really feel. I need to confirm it to myself first. I need to know why I’m acting this way.

Is it real? What I’m feeling for him is real? I’m thinking that maybe it’s just because I want to get close to him so much that I’m having this kind of affection. I’m fighting with my mind and my emotions right now. I try to move closer to him, I want to feel his breathing, to hear his heartbeat, to see him even closer. I closed the space between us and I can’t help but to breathe heavily. My heart is pounding so loud, my sweats are cold, I’m having mixed emotions.

“I’m glad to see you. It felt like 3 days is too long not being around with you.” I said what I really feel. I try to put my both hands on top of his shoulders. I didn’t expect the electricity I received. How come he’s not panicking when I’m this close to him? While I’m here, standing with full of tension and trying hard not to show it to him.

This is bad! Am I really attracted to him? He didn’t respond to what I said. Fuck! Is he thinking that I’m a weirdo? I’ve been with so many girls and I’ve been attracted to some, but this attraction is different! Damn. Should I admit it to myself then? I don’t know, all I know is that I want him. I want more of him. I want him for me. I’m losing myself now, I can’t even win the emotions I’m struggling with! Fuck.

“I’ll make sure that you and I are going to be close. More than what you think. More than that. I won’t lose in this because I already lose with myself. I’m gonna win this. I know for sure, I’m getting you.” I said without thinking twice. What am I doing? Is this really the right thing to do? Am I on the right track now? This can’t be happening right? We’ve been friends for years! How come I’m having these feelings towards him now?

“Okay, I’m curious how you’re going to do that. Being annoying won’t get me. Try harder….” Junhoe answered. WHAT? Oh God, he’s down! Is he challenging me? Or is he seducing me? LIKE WTF? Kim Jiwon wake up! Why did you think that Junhoe’s seducing you!?  
“.…Jiwon hyung.” He added. Okaaaaay?! I’m surprised hearing this from him. You can’t tame June-ya. He follows no rules. I’m satisfied hearing this word from him. His words really sound like an angel that melts me in no time.

Okay, I’m down! I lose myself more hearing the way he calls me. I don’t know if he has the same feeling as mine but I won’t lose to him this time. I’ll make sure I’ll get him. Losing with myself is already a disgrace to my principles. I’m getting excited!

I tried to slide my hands from his shoulders down to his hands. Slowly, carefully. He just stared straight to my eyes. Am I not that intimidating for him? Because I’m so intimidated by him right now. The moment I reached it, I tried to hold his hands but he refuse to let me do it.

“Not so fast hyung, I still haven’t forgotten what you did. The guilt and pain I carried is no joke.” He smirked. Fuck! Is he playing with me?

“What? What are you talking about?”

“I already said my apologies to you. And seeing the way you act now, I know you already forgave me. But have I forgave you already? I don’t remember.”

I just stand there, my jaw dropped to what he said. This is fun and exciting but it’s also annoying at the same time. He tried to step back. I panicked so I try to grab his hand once again.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry June-ya. I didn’t mean to.”

“Try harder.” He said then leave my room.

Okay? So what the fuck just happened? I thought I’m already in control of everything, guess I’m wrong with it. Is he serious or he just wants to get back to me? Is he taking a revenge? I don’t know now. I haven’t experienced these situations before. Usually, the girls were the ones who beg for me. Not like this.

I get back to my bed and checked out my phone.

“I’ll come back with the boys later. Let’s see.. Jiwon hyung”  
-0912xxxxxx

Unknown number. I don’t have to guess who’s this. No one calls me Jiwon except for him. What should I do then? Does he want me to get him in front of the boys? How should I do that? He’s giving me a hard time! Damn. But I don’t want to give up on him. I don’t want to lose him. I want him.

A lot happened in just a snap. I can’t focus myself right now but one thing is for sure. I want Junhoe and he will be mine soon. I already confirmed my feelings to myself. I’m not sure if I can confess it to him. At least I admitted it to myself now. I like him. I like Junhoe.


	17. [16] Bobby’s POV

[16] Bobby’s POV

It’s already 5:00 pm. I just slept the whole time I’m here after eating my lunch. I just stared out of the window thinking if what happened earlier is just a dream.

“Yah! Bobby-ya you okay now?” Hanbin asked.

“Bobby hyung is too strong. He can handle it.” Chanwoo said then smile.

The boys enter my room one by one. I am so relieved seeing them again.

“Look who we brought here.” Yunhyeong smile devilishly.

I saw Junhoe enter my room lastly after Jinhwan hyung. Okay, still inseparable huh?

“How are you hyung?” Junhoe asked facing the ground.

WHAT? Why is he acting like that? Didn’t he tell anyone that he’s here earlier? Am I just dreaming?

“I’m okay now,” I answered confusingly looking straightly at him.

“Yah Bobby-ya! Is that all you can say? Aren’t you going to apologize?” Jinhwan hyung asked irritably.

“No hyung. It’s okay. It’s my fault. I’m sorry Bobby hyung.” Junhoe said.

WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING? I closed my eyes. I breathed in and out. I calm myself trying to have a grip on the situation.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you that I have a severe allergy to seafood June-ya. I’m sorry that I make you all worried. I just want to taste it and of course, Junhoe’s being nice to me that night. I don’t want to start another fight with him if he misunderstood why I reject his offer.” I said trying to play the victim. I can sense that Junhoe was shocked and kind of irritated to how I responded. 

“Ohh, so it’s okay now? June-ya! Now you know the reason why Bobby hyung did that? He’s just being nice.” Donghyuk said.

“Yep. Now I know.” Junhoe answered. I can see that he slightly roll his eyes. BRAT!

“Next time Bobby-ya, just tell him what you don’t like and what you like. It’s easier that way.” Jinhwan hyung said. Can he stop worrying for Junhoe? I can do that on my own. Pfffft.  
“Besides, you two share the same room right? The moment you get discharge, try to know each other more.” Jinhwan hyung added. Out of all the things he said. This is the best he gave! I can’t wait to get discharge!

We’re all laughing because Chanwoo and Yunhyeong tries to imitate what happened to me that night. They are really good at this.

“Did you see Bobby hyung’s face? His mouth is opened and he’s saliva is coming out from there.” Chanwoo tells them while laughing.

“Yah! Yah! You brat! Stop it!” I said then laugh.

“You didn’t see what Hanbin looks like when he’s panicking. So funny.” Yunhyeong added.

Everyone’s enjoying. The hell! They just turned my emergency into a comedy story. They really are the best! I saw Junhoe smiling and laughing at the twin’s story. Jinhwan hyung was beside him. They were adding something to the story that only two of them can hear. The moment Junhoe glance at me, I just stared at him. He widens his eyes like asking “What”. I pat the chair next to me. I want him to sit here. He just looks at me surprisingly. I patted the chair next to me again. I saw him shook his head slightly then return his sight to Jinhwan hyung.

I was so irritated that I picked my phone up.

“Are you going to transfer here or are you waiting for me to call you out loud?” I texted him.

I saw him picked up his phone and read my message. His smile’s wear off and became serious.

“What do you want?” He replied.

“I thought you want me to try harder?”

“Not like this.”

“I told you to call me Jiwon, but you call me Bobby again.”

“What?”

“Are you coming to me now or what?”

Junhoe put down his phone and glance at me. He still won’t get up huh. Okaaaay? I’m fucking mad and impatient.

“Yah!” When I was about to shout his name, he suddenly stood up.

“What’s wrong Bobby-ya?” Yunhyeong asked.

“Nothing, don’t you have another story?” I smiled seeing Junhoe’s walking towards me. Yunhyeong starts to tell a story again. And Junhoe slowly sit on the chair beside my bed then glare at me.

“I just want to feel you close to me, please. I’m sorry. Can you forgive me now?” I whispered to Junhoe. I can see that he’s upset yet surprised at the same time. I don’t want to ruin his night, I just don’t want to see him sitting beside Jinhwan hyung. I just want him beside me.


	18. [17] Bobby’s POV

[17] Bobby’s POV

I’m already discharged from the hospital today. It’s good to be back on track. Right now, we’re planning what we’re going to do for our whole stay here in Cagayan de Oro. Since our cars are already here fresh from cargo, I can’t wait to explore the place with my RAM! Just listening to their plans, I know we can do a lot here in Cagayan de Oro. I’m excited to do everything with the boys and of course with Junhoe. He’s sitting beside me now. I can see that he’s excited about all the plans we’re talking about. I don’t know, it just made me happy seeing him happy. I want to make this trip unforgettable for him, for the both of us and for the whole squad.

I didn’t realize that I was staring at him. He took a glance at me while he’s laughing and notice that I was admiring him. He just throws a soft sweet smile to me. Fuck. His smile sent shivers down my spine. I never felt anything like this before! Holy crap June-ya, what are you doing to me?

“Do you have any suggestion hyung?” Junhoe asked.

“He’s right Bobby-ya, maybe you have other suggestions?” Hanbin said.

“Hmmmm. I don’t know, I just want to go surfing one of these days.” I said.

“Waaaah! Right! How can I forget that?” Donghyuk said.

“There are many surfing spots here in Cagayan de Oro. Our province is well known for that.” Yunhyeong proudly said.

I can see that Junhoe was staring at me. I don’t know, I feel conscious when he looks at me. I’m really intimidated by his stares.

“You surf?” Junhoe silently asked.

“Uh-huh.” I answered.

“That’s cool. I want to see you surf.” He said then smile and turn his head to Jinhwan hyung.

Damn! This is the very first time I felt so insecure with my skills in surfing. I always thought I’m good at it. But knowing that Junhoe will watch me, I think that I’ll be out of the surfboard very fast. Do I still know how to ride the waves? Come on! His idea is eating me up.

I feel a little dizzy so I tried to lean on Junhoe’s arm close to his shoulder. I closed my eyes and put all my weight on him. I feel that he became a little stiff.

“Bobby hyung you okay?” Chanwoo asked.

“Yeah, I’m just a little dizzy.” I said then open my eyes.

“You want to rest now? I can bring you to our room.” Junhoe suggested.

“He’s right Bobby-ya. You still need to rest. Don’t worry, we will consider you in any plans we’ll make.” Jinhwan hyung added.

“I know that hyung. I know you all love me.” I said then smile teasingly.

All of them disagree and get disgusted about what I said then laugh. These boys don’t know how to express their true feelings but I know that we always got each others’ back. I’m glad I met them.

I stood up first, I’m already at the hallway waiting for June-ya. As I look back, I saw him still talking with the boys.

“Thank you, June-ya.” Hanbin said. The only thing I heard.

He’s already approaching me and I don’t know how to react. I just stared at him.

“Are you still good hyung?” He worriedly asked.

“Yeah, I can still manage.”

“If you’re not feeling well, you can just tell us. Just tell me.”

“Alright. I will.”

We awkwardly walked to our room, AGAIN! I don’t know but no one tries to start a conversation after that. When we reached our room, I opened the door and stayed in front of it. 

“I’m okay now, you can go back. Thank you June-ya.”

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll stay with you.”

“What? You sure? They might be waiting for you to come back.”

“Nope. I already told them that I’ll accompany you tonight. Don’t you want me here?”

“ I do! Of course, I do. It’s just that, I didn’t expect you here without Jinhwan hyung.”

“He’s good, he can manage. You still need someone to look after you. Go on and rest I’ll just sit here.”

Okay? That’s new. I didn’t expect this to happen. He didn’t even bring Jinhwan hyung with him. Well, this can be a good time to know him more and to get close to him. I hope my confidence won’t run out.


	19. [18] Bobby’s POV

[18] Bobby’s POV

I’m already lying on our bed when I saw June-ya on his phone. Won’t he try to talk to me at least?

“Thank you for being here with me.”

“Technically, we share the same room. I’m still going to sleep here so don’t worry. This is not a big deal.”

“I know. It’s just that, I don’t know.” I said and saw him glance at me.  
“Have you forgiven me already?” I asked.

“Maybe? I think so.” He answered while scrolling on his phone.

“That’s good to know. At least I know where I should start.”

“I don’t think I can make it easy for you hyung. You need to try harder.”

“I’ll do everything no matter what. I’m going to have you.”

“I’m curious to know how you’re gonna do that but please, try as much as you can not to get noticed by the boys.” He said looking straight to my eyes.

Yeah, he’s right! I forgot that we’re in one circle of friends and I’m not still open to what I feel for him. It just made me sad hearing those words from him. Doesn’t he want to tell the boys what we’re up to? Or what I’m up to? Is he going to continue this as a secret? I don’t know anymore. He stood up and went directly to the bathroom.

“I’ll just take a shower. Rest please, Jiwon hyung.” He said. Fuck! My system wants to explode because of the way he calls me.

I didn’t realize that I fell asleep as soon as he got inside the bathroom. When I opened my eyes I saw him sitting on the bed next to me and still on his phone. He smells so good. Crap! It makes me feel insecure ‘cause I haven’t took a bath before going to sleep.

“How are you hyung? Do you want some water?” He asked.

“Huh? No. I’m good.”

He tries to stand up to get me some water but I didn’t allow him to. I held his hand and pull him to sit again. I didn’t let go this time.

“I’ll just get you some water hyung, for you to feel better.”

“I am better knowing you’re next to me. Just stay, please.”

“I’ll be back as soon as I get you something to drink, don’t worry.”

I didn’t give him a chance to stand up again. I pull him again and move closer to him then put my arms around his waist. I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t know how he will react to my actions but I’m good having him beside me. He didn’t move. I stay still hugging his waist.

I was surprised when he moved. He leaned on our bed headboard, he lifted his feet on the bed with his legs straight. It gave me more access to move closer, hug his waist tight and buried my face on the right side of his waist. I don’t know but I feel so relieved. I never thought hugging Junhoe will be one of the best feelings in the world. Our squad has a bromance moments. I, myself do skinship to them but I never felt like this before. I don’t know what’s happening to me but I’m happy knowing Junhoe and I are good now. Knowing that he’s beside me and letting me hug him this tight.

I was surprised when I feel one of Junhoe’s hand playing with my hair and the other one was on top of my arm that’s hugging him. I feel like all the electricity in my body is awake. Am I dreaming again?

“Okay hyung, I won’t leave until you’re asleep again.”

“What? I won’t sleep then if you’re gonna leave after I fell asleep.”

“I’ll just go get some water for you.”

“I don’t want to.” I said and tighten my hug on his waist. 

“Okay, okay. I won’t. Go back to sleep now.” Junhoe said while caressing my arms on his waist.

I was really surprised that Junhoe’s not rebelling to what I’m doing. I’m also curious about what he’s thinking. I don’t know. Why is he letting me do all of this to him? Is he having the same affection for me? I’m being clingy here but he just deals with it like he’s already used to it. Maybe this is how he and Jinhwan hyung close are. Is it not new to him anymore? I don’t care. I’m on cloud nine tonight!


	20. [19] Bobby’s POV

[19] Bobby’s POV

I woke up around 9:00 am and Junhoe’s not around. I checked my phone but I received nothing from him. I just went directly to the bathroom to fix myself. Why he didn’t wake me up? Naaaaah.. Maybe he’s busy doing something. I’m being greedy of his presence, I’ll just let him have his personal time. I already took a bath, brushed my teeth and get ready for whatever will happen this day. When I went out of the bathroom, I saw Junhoe sitting near the coffee table and on his phone. When he noticed that I’m already finished, he picked up his things and walk towards the bathroom.

“Where did you go?” I asked.

“Just went out for a run.”

“Ohhh.. You should have waken me up so I can accompany you.”

“For what reason?”

“Uhhmm.. nothing? Just to jog with you?”

“I can run on my own. No need to accompany me.” He said then go directly inside the bathroom.

What’s with that cold tone of him? Did I say something wrong? What’s wrong with him? Like, what the fuck! He just held my arms last night when I was hugging him. Then he will show me his coldness… Again!? I just stand here inside our room, frozen, when the twins’ maid knocked. 

“Sir, the breakfast is all set. Master Yunhyeong asked me to tell you to eat with them. They’re already in the dining room.”

“Oh, okay. We’ll be there.”

I don’t know what to do. Should I wait for Junhoe until he’s finished then we go to the dining room together or what? 

“June-ya, the boys are already waiting for us in the dining room. Let’s go together.”

“No, hyung. You go now. I will follow after I’m finished.”

“You sure? I can wait---”

“You can go now.”

“Okay.” I haven’t finished my sentence yet but he told me to go first. Maybe he still needs time to fix himself. When I reached the dining area, I sit next to Hanbin. They are all enjoying the conversation they’re having.

“Oh Bobby-ya, you okay now?” Jinhwan hyung asked sitting across me.

“Yep. I’m fine now. You all miss me huh.” I joked.

“Yah! You’re so disgusting. You’re creeping me out!” Yunhyeong said sitting next to Hanbin. I leave an empty chair right next to me for June-ya.

I tried to pout my lips and tried teasing Yunhyeong that I’m going to kiss him.

“Yah! Bobby-ya. Stop it! You dirty jerk.” Yunhyeong said while pushing me back so I tried to reach him more. Haha. What a clown!

We were all talking when June-ya entered the room busy with his phone. I tried to get his attention to tell him to sit next to me but he’s busy with what he’s doing. Without looking around, Junhoe sit on the empty chair beside Jinhwan hyung. Okaaaay? I try so hard not to react but it really pisses me off! Does he even consider sitting next to me? Hmmp. Fine! Maybe he’s just used to sit next Jinhwan hyung.

We’re all complete now so we start to eat our breakfast. I can’t take my eyes off of June-ya. He’s not talking nor making some extra movement but I don’t know. I don’t get him.

“Thank you for last night June-ya.” Hanbin said.

“Hmm? That’s nothing. I also feel sleepy already last night.” Junhoe answered. Okay?

“How are you and Bobby hyung in your room? Everything good?” Donghyuk asked.

“Yep. He fell asleep as soon as he lay down and I also sleep right away.” He responded. 

“Yah Bobby hyung! Try to talk to Junhoe more if you have a chance! I thought you want to get close to him?” Chanwoo said.

Junhoe didn’t even glance at me while explaining to the boys. I get it that he didn’t want to get notice about what’s between us but why is he acting like this? We can say that we have a small conversation at least. Fuck! I’m mad! I’m trying to control myself but I can’t! He’s even ignoring me! Is he? Or am I being paranoid? WHAT’S HAPPENING?!

“Okay..” I responded to Chanwoo.  
“Don’t worry June-ya. I’ll make sure we’ll spend the night deeper later.” I said not breaking my stare at Junhoe when he looked at me. Finally, I got his attention! I’m pissed. Fuck. I feel like I’m being neglected!

“Give him a chance June-ya. I’m sure you’ll get close in no time.” Jinhwan hyung said. Finally!

Junhoe just stared at Jinhwan hyung. Their eyes are talking to each other. I don’t know what’s that for. But I’m glad to hear that I have Jinhwan hyung’s support. My plans are not yet polished on how to get June-ya but I’m so desperate that I’m not sure of until what length I can do just to have him.


	21. [20] Junhoe’s POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally I'm back here. Sorry it took me sometime to update this story. I was busy attending and supporting all the events for Hanbin and it is really many 😅 Will be updating this again more like the usual. Sorry for making you wait. Hope you'll enjoy this update 😊

[20] Junhoe’s POV  
  
I went for a jog this morning. I don’t know, I feel like I just need time to think about everything that’s happening lately. The night when Bobby hyung hugged me, I really feel at ease. I feel the warmth of his hug, his hands, and arms, his breath on my waist, everything. I never knew that I’ll feel comfortable being with him.  
  
I held his arms not because I pity him for his condition. I held him because I want to. I want him to feel the warmth I’m feeling from his hug. I played with his hair because I want him to feel that I’m here beside him. I want him to feel the words I can’t say to him. And from that night I confirmed it to myself, that maybe? I am liking Bobby hyung. Should I go for it? Should I let myself continue liking him? He didn’t admit that he likes me, he just said that he wants to get me. That’s two different things, right? What if, I continue what I feel for him? There’s no assurance that he’ll see me the way I see him. Fuck! I never felt this insecure before. I never had a girlfriend but I liked some girls and I never felt this way before.  
  
The moment he said that he’ll get me no matter what, I feel the excitement. I am ready to get close to him. I know because I want it to. But I’m not yet ready to let the boys know what Bobby hyung’s up to. I’m still not yet ready on what will be their reactions. What will be Jinhwan hyung’s reaction to this? I’ve already kept many secrets from him the day we started this trip. My mind is now a mess!  
  
While jogging, there are a lot of thoughts flooded my mind. I am getting used of Bobby’s attention. I’m getting used of his presence. I think this ain’t right. I think I need to distance myself a little until I confirmed his feelings for me. I can’t depend myself on him. Not yet. I’m still fully dependent on Jinhwan hyung whom I knew since my kindergarten. He’s my best friend and I’m pretty sure he’ll never leave me unlike what Bobby hyung can do to me at any moment. I’m not sure if he’s still playing with me. I’m not sure if he just wants to get me then dropped me when he thinks he’s done with me. I need to be careful on what I’m feeling. I still need to build a wall to protect myself from hurting. I’ve never experienced it before and I’m not sure if I can deal with it when the time comes.  
  
“June-ya, the boys are already waiting for us in the dining room. Let’s go together.” Bobby hyung said while I’m inside the bathroom. Honestly, I’m not yet taking a bath. I’m just standing here, thinking… again. I need to fix myself.  
  
“No, hyung. You go now. I will follow after I’m finished.” I said. I need to start distancing myself.  
  
“You sure? I can wait---”  
  
“You can go now.” I said, not letting him finished his sentence because one more word from him, I’ll be doomed. I can’t say no to him anymore. I want to be with him every time. But I need to get myself focused.  
  
When I finished fixing myself, I took my phone out hoping that he texted me. I thought he’ll be curious the way I act but maybe it’s not really a big deal to him. I reached the dining area and saw that everyone’s having a good time. Especially Bobby hyung and Yunhyeong, okaaaay? I don’t know why but I’m a little irritated on what I’m seeing. I saw that there’s a spare chair beside Bobby hyung, is that for me? Oh, why in the world Bobby hyung will reserve a seat for me. I want to seat beside him but I remember that I need to distance myself. I walked inside the dining area looking at my phone. I don’t want them to think I’m here for 5 minutes already. Good thing Jinhwan hyung always have spare a chair for me next to him.  
  
“Thank you for last night June-ya.” Hanbin said. I don’t know what to say. I need to compose myself.  
  
“Hmm? That’s nothing. I also feel sleepy already last night.” I answered. I don’t want to give them something that will function their curiosity.  
  
“How are you and Bobby hyung in your room? Everything good?” Donghyuk asked.  
  
“Yep. He fell asleep as soon as he lay down and I also sleep right away.” I responded.   
  
“Yah Bobby hyung! Try to talk to Junhoe more if you have a chance! I thought you want to get close to him?” Chanwoo said to Bobby hyung. I didn’t look at him. I’m trying hard no to look at him.  
  
“Okay..” Bobby hyung answered. I thought he won’t respond to Chanwoo. What the hell!  
“Don’t worry June-ya. I’ll make sure we’ll spend the night deeper later.” Bobby hyung said that made me look at him. He did not break his stare at me. I can see that he’s pissed. What the fuck. Why is he acting like that! Did I say something wrong? I already told him that I don’t want the boys to get noticed!  
  
“Give him a chance June-ya. I’m sure you’ll get close in no time.” Jinhwan hyung said. I just stare at him and let our eyes talk. He knows I’m uncomfortable with his suggestion but his eyes are telling me that I should give him a chance at least.  
  
Damn Jinhwan hyung, if you only knew. I’m giving Bobby hyung all the chances he needs. All the chance I can give him. I’m just being careful. I like him but I’m not yet ready with the circumstances of falling in love. I still have my wall tall and strong. He still needs to break that wall.


	22. [21] Junhoe’s POV

[21] Junhoe’s POV  
  
I don’t know what Bobby hyung is up to this day but I’m ready for it. I know that all and every way he tried to get me are all complicated. I’m just hoping that he won’t slip to the boys.  
  
“June-ya, please. I know you so well. I know you can be close to him.” Jinhwan hyung said. He’s not yet really done with me huh?  
  
“Yes, hyung. I know. I’m doing my best to get close to him.”  
  
“You both need to try harder. Don’t worry I’ll speak to him about this.”  
  
“You don’t need to, hyung. If ever we’ll get close, I’ll just think it’s because you talked to him and not because he wants to.” I said. Jinhwan hyung just stared at me blankly.  
  
“Yeah, you have a point. I’ll just let the two of you settle this one. I trust you June-ya.” He said then pat my back. I just smile at him. He’s just concern, I know.  
  
After we eat, they prepare the things we’re going to bring for tomorrow. I haven’t started to pack mine because I still feel lazy. I still have a long day to prepare it before tomorrow. I don’t understand why all of them are in a rush of packing their things. We’re going to the beach tomorrow, we’re gonna camp there and will have a bonfire before we sleep. That’s the plan.  
  
I just stayed here in the living room, watching movies. I don’t have any other things to do aside from this. I want to play a game but no one’s here to play with me. It’s such a bore to play alone. I decided to check my phone for a little bit.  
  
1 message received.  
  
…  
  
From: Bobby hyung  
  
What the hell? Why is he texting me with only 3 dots? Okay, I’ll just ignore it and continue with watching. Not until my phone vibrates again.  
  
2 messages received.  
  
(First) Fix your things now!  
  
From: Bobby hyung  
  
What’s wrong with him now? Is he annoying me again? Why is he commanding me. If he wants to fix his things why does he asking me to fix mine? Brat! I read the second message.  
  
(Second) Or else…  
  
Still from Bobby hyung.  
  
Okay, this is not good. What’s wrong with him!? Ugghhh!!!! He’s getting into my nerves. I have no choice but to go there. I switched off the TV then walk straightly to our room. When I entered the room, I saw him lying down on our bed. I thought he’s already done packing but when I tried to look for his things, just like me, he hasn’t started his packing yet. So why does he call me here? Is he going to ask me to fix his things also? Damn it! I should have known! This jerk won’t change. He was born to annoy me. He won’t do good! Fuck.  
  
  
“So what now? Why do you keep on messaging me? Are you going to command me to fix your things, huh?” I said irritably. He didn’t show any emotion, he just stared in my eyes as if he’s reading what I’m thinking.  
  
“I won’t do that. If I can, I want to fix your things. But I can’t overwork. I can fix my things only as of the moment.”  
  
“Then why do you want me to fix my things now?”  
  
“I can’t come up with an excuse to see you. I want to sit there beside you, I want to lean on you while watching but I remember that you don’t want to get noticed. I don’t want to see you upset because of my actions.” My jaw dropped to what he said. I can see the sincerity in his eyes. Fuck!  
  
“We just saw each other earlier in the dining area.” I responded.  
  
“I can’t get enough of you June-ya.” He said while slowly standing from our bed.  
”I get that you don’t want the boys to notice what we’re up to but it fucking hurts me every time you tell them a different story. A story that should have been our story.” He’s getting near me. He’s now walking towards me.  
“I want to see your face always. I want to be beside you always. I want to be with you always. I don’t know, all I know is I feel fine whenever I’m with you June-ya.” I didn’t say a word. I don’t know how to react. All of these are still new to me. I didn’t expect this from Bobby hyung. He’s clingy with the boys but not this expressive!  
“Why are you acting so strange earlier? Why do I feel like I’ve done something wrong to make you upset? Please, June-ya tell me. I can’t stand it when you’re angry with me.” He said holding both my hands and lifting it up. He’s brushing his thumbs over my hands. We’re now face to face, chest to chest.  
  
“I don’t know hyung. I’m sorry. I’m just, I don’t know.” I sigh. I said it while looking at our hands. I love the feeling of him holding me. I love the way he touches me. It’s so gentle and warm.  
  
“I’m sorry if I’m making this hard you. Honestly, I’m really pissed earlier. I’m mad that you’re being cold to me, I’m mad that you chose to sit beside Jinhwan hyung and not beside me. I’m mad that you’re telling them a different story. I was fuming mad June-ya! But I’m not mad at you. I can’t be mad at you. I’m mad with our situation, I’m mad because we can’t be completely honest.” WTF! Tears literally formed in my eyes while Bobby hyung’s saying this. I don’t know why but those words really hit me. I feel every word and it hurts me knowing that he’s hurting.  
  
Bobby hyung hold my hands a little tighter. He brings my hands on his waist up to his back like I was hugging him and he caged me with his arms. I cry while he’s hugging me because I can feel that I’m safe. I’m free. I’m loved. I buried my face on his shoulders not knowing how to stop my tears from falling. Bobby hyung brushed his right hand on my hair and the other one is on my back.  
  
“Hush June-ya. I’m sorry I made you cry. Am I hurting you? Am I making this really hard for you?” I didn’t respond.  
  
I can feel his breathing on my neck. His lips are now in my ears.  
  
“I like you June-ya. I like you a lot. I’m sorry if I can’t promise that the boys won’t notice because I’ll give my best shot to have you. I want you to feel what I feel for you. Can you please let me?” Finally! The only confirmation I need. Our feeling is mutual! Fuck! I’ve never been this happy in my life. He likes me too. Bobby hyung likes me too!  
  
“Do you want me to stop now? I don’t want to see you suffering.” He whispered.  
  
“NO!!!! NO, PLEASE DON’T!!” The only words came out of my mouth then I hugged him tighter.


	23. [22] Junhoe’s POV

Me and Bobby hyung are now both lying on our bed. I’m just blankly staring at the ceiling of our room. I still can’t believe what happened earlier. Everything was too fast. I didn’t expect’ that Bobby hyung is that expressive and vocal towards what he felt for me. So this is the feeling when someone reveals their feelings for you. I’m happy and afraid at the same time.

All the thoughts occupied my mind. I forgot that Bobby hyung is just right next to me. He’s lying sideways with his left arm under his head serving as his pillow. He’s just staring at me the whole time.

“You’re really changing when your mind is consumed by something. It’s cute.” He said then smile. What the fuck is wrong with him? He’s making me awkwardly uncomfortable!  
“What were you thinking? I’m curious. I want to know all of your thought June-ya.” He added.

“I don’t know? I still can’t move on to what happened earlier. I’m sorry if I made you worry when I cried. I still can’t fully understand my actions.” I said, not breaking our eye contact. I’ve never been this close to Bobby hyung before. His eyes are beautiful, his jaw is perfect, his high nose is adorable, his bunny teeth makes him more attractive. I didn’t realize this before but his visual is above the standard.

Bobby hyung placed his right hand on my cheek, rubbing his thumb under my eye. I didn’t move.

“Your eyes are too beautiful to let the tears fall down. I won’t give you a reason to cry again June-ya. The only reason you’re gonna cry is out of happiness.” He sweetly said while staring at my soul through my eyes.

I placed my hand on top of his hand. I hold his hand gently but tight. 

“Thank you for letting me feel this way Jiwon hyung. Let’s have an unforgettable summer vacation together.” I smiled.

He moves closer to me placing his forehead near my shoulder. My phone vibrates, so I have no chance but to check it. Maybe the boys are looking for us. The moment I opened my phone, I didn’t expect to receive this kind of message;

1 message received

I like you….. A LOT.

From: Bobby hyung.

How? What? He’s just beside me but I didn’t notice that he’s texting? When I looked at him he’s reading the text message he sent to me. He looks so disappointed. Okay… What now? Why is he acting this way now?

“I didn’t notice that you’re texting, you’re good at this huh?” I said teasingly.

“Oh? Yeah.” He answered. He moves away a little from me. He stares at the ceiling and sighs.

“What’s the problem hyung?” I said facing him.

“Nothing.” He answered. I reached for his hand and intertwined our fingers. I hold him gently.

“Hey, tell me hyung. What’s wrong, huh?” I said. I want to know the reason behind his change of mood and emotion. I want to know him more.

“I don’t know. I just feel like I’m not important to you. Funny, right?”

“Why do you say so?”

“It’s just that… Oh, fuck! Never mind.”

“I want to know. I want to know you more. I want to understand. Please tell me? Please?” I begged.

“I know it’s just a small thing. I know that it’s not a big deal but what is my contact name on your phone?” He said, still not looking at me.

Crap! Is it because I didn’t change his name to “Jiwon hyung”? What the hell? I thought he just wants me to call him personally. I gently break our intertwined fingers and reached for my phone. I quickly renamed his contact name on my phone to Jiwon hyung. After renaming it, I showed it to him. He looks satisfied and trying hard not to smile.

“Please always call me Jiwon. Please.”

“Why do you want me to call you Jiwon? All of the boys even me are used to call you Bobby.”

“That’s one of the reasons why I want you to call me Jiwon. I want the way you’re calling me differently because you’re different from them.”

“Okay? So, what are the other reason?”

“No more reason. Aside from that, your name starts with the letter “J”. I want our initials to be the same. I don’t want the idea that you and Jinhwan hyung have the same initials yet I can’t do anything about it. Lame, right?”

I was literally shook to what he said. I’m trying hard not to laugh but I can’t so I let myself laugh.

“What!? Why? Do you think it’s funny? I’m serious June-ya.”

“Yeah, I know that you’re serious hyung.” I said trying to stop myself from laughing.  
“And I find it so cute.” I suddenly stop laughing so hard yet my smile are still glued to me. I like seeing this side of Jiwon hyung. He has so much swag and angst when you look at him but he’s really soft and sweet.


	24. [23] Junhoe’s POV

We just spent the whole afternoon lying on our bed. I didn’t know that skinship will be my thing since I don’t like much skinship even with Jinhwan hyung. But it’s different from Bobby hyung. I always want to feel him beside me. I always want to feel that he’s just right next to me. Forget all those distancing myself ideas because now, I’m letting myself to get close to Bobby hyung and know him more.

Bobby hyung was asleep on my arms. It’s already 5:00 pm so I slowly move and tried to stand up for me to fix the things we’re going to use tomorrow. When I’m trying to get up, Bobby hyung pulled me and hug me tight. I thought he’s sleeping? I moved so carefully not to wake him up.

“5 more minutes please.” He said with his sexy husky voice. You can hear that he just woke up.

“I’ll just start packing mine Jiwon hyung.”

“Let’s pack together. 5 more minutes, please. After this, when we go out of this room, everything will be limited again. Please June-ya.” He’s right, so I lay down let him hug me until he’s fully awake.

We’re packing the things we’re going to bring tomorrow. Actually, it’s not that much. We’re just going to hike a little and will go to the beach as our next destination. It’s just that, I’m kinda worried ‘cause I don’t know how to swim. I’ll just bring my trunks with me and watch them enjoy the beach. I know I’ll be enjoying it also since the view will be probably beautiful and I am with my friends, especially Bobby hyung.

There are times that I’m still wondering if I should tell it to Jinhwan hyung since I haven’t kept any secrets for him. It’s just that, it’s a privacy between Bobby hyung and mine. If time will permit, I will tell him for sure. Not just now.

“I’m excited to see you surf hyung.” I told Bobby hyung.

“I can teach you if you want to.” He smiles and turn to me.

“No, I’m good. I just want to see you doing your stuff.”

“Honestly, I’m a little nervous.”

“Why? I heard that you’re really good at surfing. So what’s with being nervous?”

“I don’t know, maybe because you’re there?”

“And?…”

“I’m getting nervous about the idea of you watching me. I want to make everything perfect. I want to show you how good I am. I am nervous of committing a mistake in front of you. I’m being paranoid, right?”

I just stared at him for seconds. I didn’t expect that Bobby hyung will be this nervous because of me. I can’t help but smile and chuckled.

“I won’t judge you if you’ll make a mistake. I’ll be cheering for you hyung. I’ll be proud of whatever you’ll do. Please have confidence in yourself because I have confidence in you.” I smiled at him.

“Still I want to show off in front of you.” He seriously said that made me burst out of laughter.  
“What? Why? Did I say something funny?” He asked confusingly.

“Nothing hyung. It’s just that, those things should be kept by yourself. The way you want to show off in front of me. It should be kept as a secret.” I laugh so hard.

“Why? What’s wrong with that? I don’t want to keep anything from you. I want you to know me more the way you want to know me. So I’ll tell everything to you. I won’t keep anything for myself.”

I can see the innocence and sincerity in Bobby hyung’s eyes but I can’t help not to laugh. I understand him. I know his intentions. Should I also do it? Say everything and anything I feel? Should I be open to him verbally? I’m not that type of person even to Jinhwan hyung. I tell him everything but not that fast. Sometimes it took me days or weeks before I gathered the courage to tell it to Jinhwan hyung. Will Bobby hyung make a change? I don’t know. I hope so. I want him to know me more.

“Let me teach you to surf June-ya. I’m a good teacher. I was the one who taught Donghyuk.”

“I know you’re good. I know you’re great at this but I can’t hyung.”

“Why? Is there any reason? I can lend you, my board.”

“I can’t swim.” I shyly said then go back to packing of my things.


	25. [24]Bobby’s POV

[24]Bobby’s POV

I’m still overwhelmed by what happened. I don’t know if all of it is real but I can’t lie that I’m the happiest. I haven’t asked June-ya about his feelings for me. It’s enough he already knew mine. It’s enough that he’s being showy on what he really feels. It’s enough for now. I won’t ask for more. I trust him. Everything that’s happening right now is beyond my expectation. I didn’t expect to be this close to him this fast. I want to know what he really feels for me but not for now. I don’t want to pressure him. I’m satisfied with his presence. I’m satisfied with what we have as of the moment. I can settle with this for now.

I love staring at June-ya. I love watching his actions. I love paying attention to every big and small detail he makes. It’s still really hard for me to read his thoughts, his actions, his words. He’s like a puzzle I can’t solve. And it is one of the reasons that attracts me more. I’m drowning on my own thoughts and feelings for him yet I don’t want to be saved. I want to drown deeper. I want to know him more.

“I can’t swim.” He shyly said then go back on packing his things. I don’t know anything about this. We always go to any beach every time we, the squad have free time. Their house also has a pool in the backyard. This really gave me a shock. But I’m glad he told me this. I’m glad he’s trusting me.

I stopped on what I’m doing. I dropped everything I’m holding. I slowly walk in his direction. He was busy packing his things and all I can see is his back. When I’m already behind him, I slipped my hands and arms on his back to his waist until it reached his tummy. I lean my chin on his back and I can feel that he was shocked because he stopped on what he’s doing. Never knew that back hugging June-ya will be my new favorite thing. 

“Thank you for letting me know, June-ya.” I said while tightening my back hug for him.

“It’s a shame to admit it hyung but you keep on insisting.”

“What’s the shame on that? It’s not a weakness you should be ashamed of.”

“So should I brag about it? That I can’t swim.”

“NO! You shouldn’t!!”

“Why? Because you’re also ashamed of me? Pfft.” He stopped for a while then continue packing. I tighten my hug even more for him to feel that I want his attention.

“No, I’m not ashamed of you.” I said leaning my cheeks on his back.

“So why are you reacting that way?”

“I don’t want others to know because I don’t want them to teach you how to swim by themselves. I can teach you if you want to. I just don’t want your attention drawn to someone else. I want you to focus only on me.” I don’t know why I’m being possessive here. I don’t know why I’m requesting this from him but this is what I really feel and I don’t want to hide it from him.

Junhoe slowly turn his face me. He held both of my arms and look directly into my eyes.

“Do you think I have time for other things hyung? My mind’s always clouded by you. I want to know why I’m always thinking about you, what your thoughts are, what you’re feeling as of the moment, what are you feeling when I’m touching you, what do you feel when you’re with me, what do you think of me, what you really feel for me but I can’t find answers and it frustrates me. All of me is already yours, Jiwon hyung. You won. You got me.”

I can feel his frustrations while saying these words to me. I can see it in his eyes. I don’t want to see him this way. I pulled his arms and wrapped it around my waist. I caged him with my arms, placed his head on my shoulders and caress his hair.

“You don’t know how happy you made me today June-ya. Since this morning, you just filled me with satisfaction and happiness. I love hearing your thoughts, I love knowing your side, I love how you touch me, I love you.” After I said this, I can feel his hug getting tighter.

“I want to know everything about you Jiwon hyung. I want to read your thoughts. I want to be close to you. I want you.” He said.

I slowly loosen our hug and face him. I am really mesmerized by his eyes. It pictures innocence and frustrations. My right hand held his chin while my left hand held his waist. I stare at his eyes and slowly lift his chin. I slowly move closer inch by inch and stared at his red lips that are inviting me. I let my lips touch his. I close my eyes and feel the softness of it. I give him a deep peck. It’s not that intimate but I can feel him wanting me. This is the most addicting taste I’ve ever tasted. I opened my eyes and slowly move my lips away from his.

“I’ll always be open to you. I won’t hide anything from you, I won’t do anything that will hurt you. Just please trust me, love. Please trust me.” I said then kissed his forehead.

We continue to pack our things since it’s already dinner time and I know that the boys will be looking for us. I’m afraid of the happiness I’m feeling right now. I’m so happy and I’m afraid it will be taken away from me, from us. I hope it will last long. I will make sure it will last long.


	26. [25]Bobby’s POV

[25]Bobby’s POV

It’s already 7:00 in the evening so we decided to go out of our room and go to the dining area since it’s dinner time now. Junhoe and I walked together going there. We heard loud voices and waves of laughter when we’re already near. I looked at June-ya’s eyes and I can see that he’s a little worried. I tried to get his attention to look at me, when he faced me, I smile sweetly. I want him to feel that there’s nothing to worry about. He smiled back sweetly.

“Trust me. Everything will be fine.” I said.

“I trust you. I trust us.” He answered. 

We entered the dining area together and tried to act as normal as possible. Everyone looked at us when we’re already there.

“It seems like you really had a great time together, aren’t you?” Donghyuk teasingly said.

“I think so, they go out together. They stayed inside their room for that long. Is the end of the world already near?” Yunhyeong said.

“I know you’ll be close in no time hyung. You just need to understand each other.” Chanwoo added.

“Can you all shut your mouth? You’re making the atmosphere awkward for the both of us, AGAIN.” I said then smirk. I don’t want Junhoe to feel uncomfortable. I sat beside Donghyuk, I didn’t look at Junhoe but I was startled that he’s sitting beside me even though there’s a space beside Jinhwan hyung. I looked at Jinhwan hyung and just saw him smile to June-ya.

“No, it’s okay. I think Jiwon hyung is really fun to be with. His thoughts are really vast. I can’t read him most of the time but, yeah, it’s fun.” Junhoe said while arranging his table napkin on his thighs. Is he really saying all of these? In front of the boys? In just a casual way? Without any hesitation? HOW??!!

“Did I heard it right? Did you call him Jiwon? I think your closeness is already on a different level.” Hanbin said. Fuck. What is he talking about? Junhoe just stared at him blankly.  
“The only person who calls Bobby hyung Jiwon is his mom. How did you do that? Even me, his favorite cousin is not allowed to call him by Jiwon because he won’t approve that.” Hanbin added then smile. Damn, he’s so talkative. Junhoe just looks at me and then gets his eyes back in the dining table.

“I’m glad that both of you are close to each other now. I hope that it will continue. Let’s make this vacation memorable.” Jinhwan hyung ended the conversation and we started to eat our dinner.

The maid prepared their signature dish which is the King crab! Crap! It really looks delicious but I can’t eat it. Good thing the maid prepared a steak for me. It was my first time to eat it when Junhoe let me try it before that made me woke up in a lab gown and a hospital room. But still, I can’t get my eyes off of the King crab. I was shocked when someone grabbed my thighs tightly. I looked at the hands and saw that it’s Junhoe’s hand. I looked at him and saw him looking at the King Crab while shaking his head as if he’s saying “No” while pinching my thighs. Okay! I get it. I won’t eat it. I’m just-- Hmmm.. I’m just fascinated by the way it looks. Damn!

I didn’t expect myself to be this obedient. He just shook his head and I already knew what he wanted me to do. I love how he gave me instructions and tell me what to and what not to.

“What a bummer! It’s lame you can’t eat seafood hyung.” Hanbin said.

“Yeah. I do really want to have it but I don’t want to ruin this vacation. Let’s enjoy this again this time.” I replied and we continue eating.


	27. [26]Bobby’s POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️WARNING⚠️  
⚠️WARNING⚠️  
⚠️WARNING⚠️

[26]Bobby’s POV

We are all excited about our first trip tomorrow. We will be going to the beach and I’m really thrilled by the idea of large waves and surfing! We’re already finished our dinner and everyone’s going back to their room except for June-ya.

“Hey, let’s go?” I asked.

“You can go first hyung.” He smiled.  
“I’m still enjoying the view.” He added while laying down the porch.

I lay down with him, curious about what he’s enjoying.

“What are you looking at?” I asked.

“I’m enjoying the stars. Tomorrow, the weather will be good because of the clear sky.”

“How do you say so?”

“Stars aren’t covered with clouds. Tomorrow is a fine day.”

“I didn’t know you have an interest in stars.”

“I love the stars. I love staring at them. I love the concept of having stars at night. It gives me hope.”

“Hope?”

“Yup. Hope. Imagine, in the night time where the earth is covered with darkness, stars shine so brightly that tells us there’s hope. Even though the moon is there to give us much brighter light, stars accompanied the moon just to say that no matter how small or big you are, you are relevant.”

I didn’t expect Junhoe to think this deep. I admire the way he thinks. Wtf, I’m do really love him! His eyes are twinkling. I can see how much he admire the stars in the sky while I’m admiring him lying here beside him. When it’s a little late, we decided to go back to our room.

We’re already on our way to our room since we need to get up early for the ride tomorrow. I miss driving my car so much. So I’ll make sure I’ll have a great time with it here in Cagayan de Oro. I’ll go to places to have beautiful memories with my car!

We’ve just entered the room, I was behind June-ya when he takes his shirt off as soon as he enters our room. He always sleeps with his boxers only. When I closed the door he’s now taking off his shorts. I quickly felt the heat inside me while staring at him undoing his shorts. I can feel that my cock is getting harder. He’s so sexy even though I’m only seeing his sculptured back. I can’t help it but to go near him. I trace the muscle on his back from his broad shoulder down to his spine. He’s clearly surprised at what I’m doing. He maybe feels as if someone is tickling him. He turned around and face me and saw that my cock is alive and hard since I’m just wearing a muscle tee and boxers only. I am really embarrassed that he’s seeing me this way but I can’t stop looking at his perfect chest. Fuck! Didn’t appreciate his body before but he really has a good shape. Not to mention his 6 full pack abs! Unconsciously, I’m touching his perfect body letting my fingertips feel the perfection of his neckline down to his chest up to his abs. I trace every line of it with my right hand’s fingertips. I was startled when he held my hand and helped me traced the lines of his body. We stared at each other when he was doing this until he reached his cock with my hand. Holy crap! What the fuck! Fuck!!!! He’s turned on! He’s so hard. I can feel it! My mind was panicking but the only thing I know as of the moment is I want him, I want to feel him, now.

I grabbed his cheeks and kiss him slowly and gentle but I can’t deny the feeling that I wanted to kiss him hard with hunger. My left hand is on his cheeks while my right hand is still on his cock. I’m rubbing my hand back and forth on top of his while kissing him. “Hmmmm…” I heard. I can feel that he’s really turned on because of his hard dick. He was flinching and stepping back because of our movement so I slowly walked him to the wall and pinned him. He kissed me back with hunger and with heat, our lips are moving against each other. His tongue is exploring every corner of my mouth which I gave him full access. He was moving his body into mine and I can feel that he’s enjoying the feeling. His hands reached for my shirt and he slowly pulls it upward to take it off. I know what he wanted. I was frustrated by the cloth that’s hindering me in feeling his wholeness so I lift my right hand on the rubber part of his boxers and tried to slip my hand inside. “Fuck!” He flinched. He was flustered by the movement I made and stopped kissing me, he also held my shoulders tighter since he’s hugging me on my neck while kissing. I take off his boxers down to his knees and saw his wholeness. It’s long, hard and pinkish already. HE IS TURNED ON! This is my first time seeing this aside from mine. Fuck! How come it turned me on so much? I can feel the foreign sensation in my whole body by just staring at his. It makes me get harder. I can see that June-ya was examining my reactions. He’s staring directly into my eyes that sent shivers down to my spine.

“You are the only reason for this hardness hyung.” Fuck I lose it!

I don’t want him to feel insecure. He has a good body, I don’t want him to feel that I’m not enjoying the view I have. I can’t help it, I move closer again to him, touch the back of his neck and kiss him continuously where he did the same. I can hear our saliva’s slamming at each other, it’s the only thing we can hear. I can feel the heat. I hold his cock and move my hands up and down. Slowly and gently. June-ya opened his mouth and stopped kissing me. “Ugh, Jiwon hyung!” He let a soft moan out because of what I’m doing. He bites his lips that excites me more. I started kissing him again and move my hands on his a little faster. “You want this?” I asked. “Uh-huh.” He answered. He can’t focus on my lips and doesn’t know what reaction he should do. He reached for my hard cock that made me flinch a little. June-ya quickly take my boxers down and hold my hard dick. He was examining it and my whole body. He looked me straightly in the eyes and smirk. Fuck! His smirk sent me shivers.

“So this is how turned on you are to me huh, Jiwon hyung?”

“You’re the only one who can make me this hard June-ya.”

He also started to move his hands up and down the same to what I’m doing with him. I can’t help it but to break our eye contact, close my eyes and looked at the ceiling. Damn. I’m so turned on! He’s good at this. I can’t help but to move faster with his rhythm as he’s masturbating mine. June-ya rests his forehead on my shoulder. I can hear his hard, deep breath. I can feel the warmth of his breath on my chest. I hear another soft moan from him and saw him biting his lips.

I can’t stop myself now I started kissing him again and claim his lips as if it’s mine while my hands are still moving up and down on his wholeness, I kiss him down to his jaw to his neck and collar bones. He look up so I can have access. I shower his neck with kisses and leave my mark there. “Fuck, your taste Is addicting June-ya.” I said and continue kissing him down to his chest while he was pulling my hair with his left hand and his right hand on my cock. I slowly worked my way down to his tummy from his chest with my tongue. “Fuck.” He said and moved a little, I bet he was tickled. I kneel while moving my hand on his. He was surprised but I didn’t give him time to adjust. I pinned him hard to the wall and slowly put his inside my mouth. As soon as it entered my mouth, I heard Junhoe’s moan with full of pure Ecstasy. I move my head back and forth tasting every inch of him and fuck, I’m enjoying doing this. I looked up and saw him closing his eyes with his opened mouth while he slightly strangled his fingers in my hair. The room was covered with the sound of my saliva slamming on him every time I go back and forth. All you can hear are grunts of satisfaction. I just stared at him while moving. I want to see his reactions while his wholeness is moving inside and out of my mouth. I love to see that I’m giving him immense pleasure. I can see it by the way he reacts, the way he bites his lips, the way he pulls my hair. Damn! He’s so sexy!

“Ugh, Jiwon hyung….” Fuck!!!!! That husky voice of him. It turns me on so bad that I lose myself and realize that I’m moving faster. I saw him covering his mouth because of the loud moans escaping through it. He looked down at me and shook his head as if he wants me to stop but I can’t and I won’t. I slowly get his wholeness out of my mouth. I twirled my tongue on the head of his cock as if I’m teasing him. I stopped and stood up. I walked across the other wall and pinned myself there hold my own dick and masturbate it in front of him as if I’m inviting him to come to me. He didn’t think twice and go to me quickly. He claimed my lips and start kissing me down to my neck, up to my tummy. He set aside my hands on mine and hold it with his hand. I didn’t expect that he will kneel in front of me and put mine inside of his mouth.

“Fuck!” I softly said as he moves back and forth. I closed my eyes and looked at the ceiling. I didn’t know how to react. I looked down and caught him staring at me. Fuck, I saw him smirk again. He’s good at this I must admit. “Ugh, June-ya…” the only word escaped my mouth. He moved faster back and forth. I hold his head and helped him move. I can feel that I’m already near to explode. My thighs and legs are already trembling. I can’t stop myself from cumming. I already tiptoed when I reached my peak and spread my juices all over him. He tasted it and went back to the wall where I pinned him.

“Make me cum.” He said then smirk. I was tired and weak but I must say that I can’t say no because he turned me on so much.

“Are you challenging me? Or are you teasing me?”

“Let’s see.” He said.

I hold his again and move up and down while kissing him so hard. I can taste my own juice on his mouth. I was too impatient that I put his inside my mouth and move so fast. All I hear was his moans escaping. I slowly stopped and twirled my tongue again on the top of his cock’s head. The touch of my tongue on his made his legs tremble. I twirled it so many times until I decided to put it again in my mouth and move faster until he reached his peak. He cum for me and spread it all over me. His taste is addicting, I don’t know why. But this immense pleasure we gave to each other is like my own kind of heroine.

We’re both tired and weak. We lay down on our bed catching both of our breaths. I faced him and wiped his beads of sweat.

“I like you Jiwon hyung.” He murmured. He turned his face to me this time and said  
”I like you so much.” I was shocked at what I heard.

WHAT THE FUCK DID HE JUST SAID?! He confesses to me just like that. When he was weak and tired?! How should I react with that? How should I respond?

“I like you. I really do.” He said placing his hand on my cheek.

“I love you, bub.” I said while staring at him. He made me the happiest of what he said. I’m so happy!

I never saw myself doing this but I enjoyed doing it with him. I love the way he made me feel. I love the way he stares at me. I love him. I’ll do everything just to make him happy the way he makes me feel this kind of happiness. It feels like everything that happened is so surreal. I covered ourselves with a blanket since we’re both naked. He slipped his arms on my waist, buried his face on my chest and hug me tight. I know he wants to say something but he can’t because he’s so tired so I hugged him back... I’ll let him sleep and rest tonight. It’s really a good night.


	28. [27]Bobby’s POV

[27]Bobby’s POV

The sun shines through my face the reason I woke up. I reached for my phone and it’s already 8:00 am! Fuck! We need to get ready since we’re leaving at 9:00! I turn around and see no one beside me. I panicked. I just stayed sitting on our bed and roam my eyes inside our room but there’s no Junhoe. My heart beats fast because of nervousness. This is what happen last time and that moment, he didn’t talk to me afterward. Where is he?

It was a shock when someone entered the room and I saw June-ya holding a tray with food and water. Wait? What? How? Did I miss something?

“I brought you your breakfast.” He smiled shyly.

“How- How did you do that? Aren’t the boys get suspicious?” I confusingly asked.

“Nope. I just said that I’ll bring it here because you’re too lazy to get up and I don’t want us to be late.” He laughs.

Still naughty. It’s the June-ya I know. No one can compete with Junhoe when it comes to teasing. He always wins. I don’t know but he’s the only person that can make Hanbin mad. Haha. Hanbin can handle any sarcasm and teasing except for my bub. He placed the tray on our bed and started to prepare his needs for this day. I just stared at him while eating the sandwich he made.

“Stop staring at me. I’m being conscious of my actions. Please act normal!” He said, continuing what he’s doing. I laugh so hard to what he says.

“I’m acting normal!”

“Since when?”

“Most of the time.”

“Staring at me is not normal for you.”

“Oh really? This is my favorite hobby by the way.”

He stared blankly at me and continue preparing his things.

“So, did you really made this sandwich?

“How many times should I tell you that I made it?”

“Just want to make sure that this isn’t made by Jinhwan hyung.”

“It isn’t. I made it.”

“Sorry, June-ya. It’s just that I can’t stop thinking abou--” 

“NO! STOP! Don’t say it. It’s embarrassing. STOP!!” He said not giving me a chance to speak.

“What?” I chuckled.

“I know what you’re going to say. Stop it!”

“I’ll just say that I can’t stop thinking about you and this sandwich and all I want to do is just to stare at you. I love you, bub.” I said. He was shocked at what I said. His face turns red I can saw it and it made me happy.

He continues what he’s doing and he even prepares my things so that I can start to take a bath. I go to him and slide my arms on his waist, placed my head on his back and gave him a 5 seconds back hug. He was surprised as always. I run to the bathroom because I know that I’ll be hearing his sermons, again. I look back once again to see what he’s doing and he's just staring at me irritably.

“You sure you don’t want to bath with me?” I tease.

“Yah!!!! Jiwon hyung! Stop it!” He said.

“Alright. Alright! Continue preparing the things we need. Prepare yourself when I came out here.” I laugh.

“YAAAAAAHHH!!!” He shouted. Oh God! I missed teasing him. I miss the way he gets irritated and angry. I’ll make sure that he will enjoy it today. We, the whole squad will enjoy this summer!

I was in the bathroom and starting to take a bath when I saw myself in the mirror. I close my eyes and touch my lips, my neck, my chest. This is where he touched me last night. I can’t forget the feeling, the heat, the details, his lustful kisses, everything. That was one of the best feelings and memory I had! Oh God, I love him so much.

I already turned on the shower and started taking a bath when June-ya opens the door and casually go to the sink of the bathroom.

“What the fuc-- Yah! Junhoe! Don’t you know how to knock? You’re surprising me.” I shouted while covering my whole body with a towel.

“Why? Didn’t I see it already?” He smirked while brushing his teeth.

“This is different! I need my privacy this time!”

His eyes we’re teasingly narrowed with a smirk on his lips.

“Privacy? So why are you inviting me to bath with you earlier?”

“No-- Tha- That’s….. Nevermind! Can you please hurry up then go outside? I can’t finish why you’re still there!”

He stared at me and slowly brush his teeth.

“Yah! June-ya! Faster!!!!”

“Oh, you want it faster huh, hyung?”

“Holy crap June-ya! Stop that nonsense of yours!”

He laughs so hard because of my reactions. He finished brushing his teeth then turn to me while holding the door of the bathroom.

“I think, teasing you will be my perfect hobby for this vacation Your reactions are priceless!” He said and continuously laughing outside the bathroom.

What’s with him? Damn. What happened to the silent and pure and innocent June-ya I know? Oh God, he’s so cute and adorable yet annoying at the same time. My bub is enjoying his time. I sigh and continue showering.


	29. [28] Junhoe’s POV

[28]Junhoe’s POV

Everyone’s getting ready for the trip. We are all gathered to talk for a while on where we’re going and what can be done there.

“We will be going to Kulas beach. It’s a good scenery. Jinhwan hyung can enjoy taking photos and upload it to his Insta. Haha.” Chanwoo tease.

“Yah! Are you making fun of me?” Jinhwan hyung asked. Chanwoo just smiled but didn’t answer.  
”But is the place really good for taking Insta photos?” Jinhwan hyung added.

Everyone burst into laughter. Damn! We’re really having a good time. And I know we will have a good time when we reach the beach.

“It is also one of the best surfing spots here in Cagayan de Oro where Bobby can enjoy surfing.” Yunhyeong added.

“Oh really? I can’t wait to be on a surfboard again.” Jiwon hyung replied happily.

We’re carrying our bags outside to fix it in the cars. Jiwon hyung has already placed his things inside his car. He was looking at me. I bet he’s waiting for me to ride with him. I do want to. I really do. But as of this moment, I want to be with Jinhwan hyung. We haven’t talked to each other much lately.

“I want to ride Hanbin’s car with Jinhwan hyung.” I said. I can see Jiwon hyung’s reaction to what I said. His eyebrows meet in the middle creating waves on his forehead. I can clearly see that he doesn’t like my idea.

“Why? Are you already sick being with Bobby hyung?” Donghyuk asked and laugh.

“I knew it. No one can stand Bobby hyung’s attitude. Yah, hyung! I think you need to change a bit.” Hanbin second the motion.

“Yah everyone! Don’t put the weight on Junhoe’s maybe he just really feel riding with me today. Right June-ya?” Jinhwan hyung said then smile.  
“In fact, Bobby and Junhoe shared the same room and I know they’re getting really close to each other. Let’s just enjoy today!” He added.

“Okay! So let me ride with Bobby hyung. Since the twins will be riding on their car.” Donghyuk said.

“Yeah, you can ride with Bobby for now so he has a company.” Yunhyeong hyung said.  
“Where’s your surfboard, by the way, Bobby Aren’t you going to surf?” Yunhyeong hyung added.

“Ah yeah. I think I didn’t bring my surfboard with me. I’ll just rent there if there’s an available one.” Jiwon hyung answered.

“Oh okay. There are lots of surf shops there anyway.” Yunhyeong said.

“Let’s go, everyone!” Hanbin excitedly said.

I ride with Hanbin and Jinhwan hyung. Jinhwan hyung was asking me if how am I doing lately. And if everything’s doing well with Bobby hyung. He thought I was just being forced by Bobby to tell us that we’re okay but not which is not the case. He’s narrowing his eyes towards me because I chose not to ride with Bobby hyung.

“No Jinhwan hyung. We’re really okay. We’re really close now. It’s just that when we go home, we’re still the one together right?” I said.

“Still you both are still on the process of building your friendship.” Jinhwan hyung added.

“But I think Junhoe’s right Jinhwan hyung. I think they’re really close now. To think that he’s calling Bobby hyung as Jiwon. It doesn’t make sense.” Hanbin added while looking at me on the rearview mirror.

“Okay. I get it. I know. I’m just checking up on Junhoe’s situation. I just wanted to be sure.” Jinhwan hyung said. He really didn’t fail to look after me and it makes me want to tell him everything.

“Yah, what do you think of Bobby? Huh? Jinhwan hyung?” Hanbin asked while driving.

“No. Don’t get me wrong, I know that Bobby is really nice. I just don’t want to create misunderstanding here.” Jinhwan hyung answered. 

“I appreciate all of your concerns but I think I’m good. Jiwon hyung is also looking after me.” I said until my phone beeps.

1 message received.

Are you okay there? Anything you need?

From: Jiwon hyung

Wtf is he doing? Is he doing this right now? I replied right away after receiving his text message.

~Aren’t you driving? How come your texting? YAH!  
To: Jiwon hyung

1 messaged received

Donghyuk left something inside the reason we’re not leaving yet.

From: Jiwon hyung

1 messaged received

I hope I can be with you today even just for a period of time while we’re enjoying :(

From: Jiwon hyung

WHAT?! What is he doing? He’s being clingy this time... Well, I like him being clingy. Haha. I don’t know how we should do this but all I know is I trust him as of this moment. I can’t wait to enjoy this trip with him.

~We will enjoy this trip together :) Let’s also have time with the boys and enjoy it with them also. See you in a bit Jiwon hyung.  
To: Jiwon hyung.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for supporting and reading my story. 😊 I'm just busy this past few days and weeks in work the reason I can't update this story lately 😅 I am also preparing an event for Junhoe's birthday that's why my time is consumed in preparing. Will be back from time to time. Surely, after my event for Junhoe. Thank you 🥰💕 Hope you can wait for me 😁


	30. [29] Junhoe's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you for waiting patiently. I hope you'll enjoy the new chapters of the story ^u^

[29]Junhoe’s POV

It is always nice talking with Jinhwan hyung. Just like the old times. It can ease my tension, my nervousness, I don’t know. It makes me feel relaxed. I’m not really close to anyone else like how close I am with him. I bet our bond and relationship is like no other. It was hard to keep a secret from him. He knows everything about me. I can’t hide anything from him. It’s either he will found out the truth or I’ll be telling him right away. I really felt guilty every time he looks after me, not knowing the whole me and who I am now. I’m just getting a grip on the situation. I know that in no time I’ll be telling him. ONLY HIM. I trust him so much but I’m still afraid of the reaction I will get when I tell him the truth. I don’t want to keep secrets from him.

“What?” Jinhwan hyung asked.

“Huh?” I confusingly asked.

“Why are you staring at me like you want to tell me a long story?” He answered then chuckled.

“WHA-- Nothing. I just… I just, I don’t know?” I said.

“Yah. Haha… Your heads are in the clouds again June-ya. Relax, I know you're afraid of water but I hope you will enjoy our trip. I’ll accompany you.” He said and tap my shoulder as if he’s comforting me.

I was startled to what he said. I haven’t bothered myself to where we going. And of course, Jinhwan still looks after me. Do I look nervous? Do I look worried? Hmm… Maybe? Because of the thoughts in my mind. I may be having a worried feeling and it shows on my facial expressions.

“Chill June-ya. You got this!” Jinhwan hyung cheered me and tap my shoulder again.

“I know hyung, please enjoy this trip not looking after me so much. I will enjoy myself.” I replied and smiled at him.

“It’s hard not to worry about you June-ya. You’re like a baby most of the time.” He laughed.

“Yah! You’re being mean hyung. I can take care of myself!” I said irritably.

“Look at you being baby again. Haha.” He laughed again.  
“Don’t worry I won’t let the boys know how baby you are today.”

“Yah Jinhwan hyung! I’m not a child anymore.”

“I know. I know. Haha.” He chuckled and then get serious.  
“I just really thought of you as my younger brother. You can’t expect me not to get worried about knowing your history with open water.” He looked at me with worried eyes.

“I won’t Jinhwan hyung. I’ll never make you worried again.” I gave him a smile to assure him that everything’s going to be okay.

“Looks like you two are talking about something personal huh? Is it okay if I jump in?” Hanbin said.

“Eyes on the road you quail!” Jinhwan hyung said.

“Yah hyung! Stop calling me a quail! I’m not born this handsome for you to call me a quail!” Hanbin irritably said that made me and Jinhwan hyung burst of laughter.

“What’s funny? I’m just saying the truth here!” He asked,  
“I won’t let you ride with me again. Why did I volunteer?” He added that made us laugh more.

“Yah, don’t you know that Jinhwan hyung is good at irritating people? Haha. I’m pissed 10 seconds ago before you jump into our conversation.” I explained, still can’t stop laughing.

“Yeah, that’s the biggest mistake I did today. Damn, I wished I never jumped into your conversation.”

“Yah yah! Look at your mouth, you’re being quail again. Your lips are sticking out too much when you’re pissed.” Jinhwan hyung added.

“AISH!!!! STOP IT NOW HYUNG!” Hanbin irritably shouted.

That’s a fun ride. Jinhwan hyung and I were just laughing the whole time because of the pissed driver we’re with. Hanbin hyung is so cute. And yes, he does really looks like a quail. Haha. I just don’t want to agree with Jinhwan hyung earlier, if I did, maybe we’re now walking to go to our destination. 

Time passed as we’re going closer to the sea, the more nervous I’m becoming. I can’t even talk now. I noticed Jinhwan hyung glance at me but I didn’t move nor show any emotions. I hope everything goes well. I hope the sea will let me enjoy this day, please. I want to enjoy this. Just let me.

“Finally we’re here! I hope my irritation from you two will be washed by the sea!” Hanbin said.

I don’t have any strength to reply to what he said. I’m just focus calming myself. I felt Jinhwan hyung hands on my shoulder so I turned to him. He’s smiling and his eyes are full of assurance.

“Let’s go June-ya.”

I nod and smile back at him. What will I do without him? He knows me so much. He knows how to make me calm. We all go down the car and I can’t focus on anything. The waves of the sea is the only thing I’m hearing. My heart beats so fast, I’m sweating cold, I can’t move. I don’t know. Let me enjoy this, please. Let me.


	31. [30] Junhoe's POV

[30]Junhoe’s POV

Now that we’re complete, the sound of the waves was overpowered by the laughter and excitement of the boys. I’m happy that we’re finally here and enjoying this vacation.

“You good?” Jiwon hyung asked.

I didn’t realize that he’s beside me the moment they arrived. I’m completely lost.

“Huh? Yeah, I’m good.” I smiled.

We all go to our room before enjoying the view of the sea. The twins paid for a villa where we can spend the night. The villa looks really good. It has everything we need, a living room, dining and kitchen area, 3 rooms. The twins wanted to stay near the sea and enjoy it every time we want instead of going back to their rest house. We will be staying here until tomorrow morning. We also have a cottage at the seashore so the boys can rest after enjoying the water according to the twins.

“3 bedrooms?” Donghyuk asked.

“Yup, any problem with that?” Chanwoo jokingly asked.

“Nothing, I mean the villa is really good. But who’s gonna be the roommates?” Donghyuk asked.

“Do you want it to be the same as in our rest house?” Chanwoo asked.

“I’m tired of you kicking me, let’s changed our roommates for tonight,” Yunhyeong suggested.

“I think that’s a good idea.” Hanbin agreed.

“Yah, I don’t want to sleep with any one of you.” Jiwon hyung said.  
“I’m getting comfortable with Junhoe, he’s not pestering me when he’s my roommate.” He added.

“And that’s the reason for it. We want to pester you all night.” Jinhwan hyung said.

“AISH---” Jiwon hyung irritably reacted.

“Let’s decide it now so we can place our things in our room before going out to the sea.” Donghyuk suggested.

“I’m down! I have an idea of how to pick our roommates!” Chanwoo said.

He put colored pool balls in a box and he shuffled it.

“I put 3 colors inside this box. Blue has 3 balls and the Red and Yellow have 2 balls each. So there will be 3 people in 1 room which is the biggest room and the other rooms will be filled with two persons. Red balls in the left room and Yellow rooms in the right room. Don’t show your balls with others. Just keep it to yourself first!” He explained.

“Are we allowed to exchange rooms?” Hanbin asked.

“For tonight, no we’re not allowed. There will be punishment if you will exchange your color balls to others.” Chanwoo smirked.

“That’s unfair!!!” Hanbin said.

“If you really don’t like your roommate then sleep here in the living room.” Donghyuk tease Hanbin.

“Why is everyone getting into my nerves today?” He sighed.

We all laugh. Haha. Poor Hanbin.

“Okay! Let’s go!!!” Yunhyeong exclaimed!

“You’re okay with this?” Jiwon hyung whispered to me.

“Just get the same color as mine if you want to be my roommate.” I tease.

“Fuck! How am I supposed to do that?” He’s desperate. I chuckled.

“Let’s see the result.” I smiled.

“Everyone’s ready to know who their roommates are?” Chanwoo said.  
“Let’s reveal the color of our balls in 1, 2, 3!!!” We all showed the color of the balls we got.

Blue balls - Yunhyeong, Chanwoo, Jiwon hyung  
Red balls - Hanbin, Jinhwan hyung  
Yellow balls - Donghyuk and me

“This isn’t really my lucky day. Damn!” Hanbin said.

“If you don’t want to be my roommate you can stay here.” Jinhwan hyung said.

“Fuck! My night will not be good.” Hanbin added and walk directly to their room.

“Yah, I’m sick and tired of you!” Yunhyeong said to Chanwoo.

“I guess you're stuck with me as your twin!” Chanwoo teased.

“I don’t want both of you to be my roommate!!! This is bullshit!” Jiwon hyung said.

“Oh God, you will now know how much I suffer with Chanwoo!” Yunhyeong said.

“Are you good with this?” Donghyuk asked me.

“Yeah, the new atmosphere is always good, isn’t it?” I smiled at Donghyuk.

“I’ll be putting my things in our room, you?” Donghyuk asked.

“Okay, let me go with you.”

We both walked into our room and both get mesmerized with it.

“Yah this is so good!” Donghyuk said.

“I agreed, I think our room is the best location in this villa.” I said.

You can see the view of the sea and sunset outside the window walls of our room. Damn. This is so relaxing. The sea is so calm this time. It gives me peace for a moment while staring outside.

“Waaaah, this is so good. You can sleep on the left side of the bed June-ya. I know you’re used to it. I won’t argue for now. This view calms me. Fuck!” Donghyuk added while staring outside.


	32. [31] Junhoe's POV

[31] Junhoe’s POV

We are now all getting ready to go out of the sea. Jinhwan hyung is always by my side. I can see that the boys are excited and while carrying the surfboards they rented. As soon as we reached the outside they run fast to the sea which left me, Jihwan hyung and Jiwon hyung.

“I’ll just enjoy the waves June-ya. I’ll spend time with you later.” Jiwon hyung whispered.

“It’s okay hyung. Just go and enjoy it!” I said.

“Don’t watch too much. I can’t focus knowing you’re watching. Just look from time to time, I want to impress you.” 

“Haha. I won’t Jiwon hyung. And I know you’re too good. Go now and impress me!”

He ran towards the waves after our conversation.

“Looks like you to really get along well, huh?” I was surprised and turned to him.

“Huh? Yeah.” I smiled.  
“He’s not really hard to be with. He just really loves to tease I guess?” I added.

“You just really need to understand him for you to communicate well with Bobby.”

“I think I can understand him now, Jinhwan hyung. Not all of him but at least I can.” I unconsciously said to Jinhwan hyung while looking at Jiwon hyung with the boys.

“It’s good to know that you’re open to understanding others now.” He said that caught my attention.  
“You are hard to please June-ya.” He said while looking to the boys.  
“We are all friends for years but you’re only opening yourself to me. I’m not saying it’s a burden. I’m thankful that you’re trusting me actually. But still, I’m happy to see that you’re growing with other people especially to Bobby.” He turned to me then smile.

“I guess his naughtiness worked?” I laughed.  
“What are you doing here by the way? You should be on the water and enjoying it.” I added.

“I’m good. I don’t like swimming at noon. The sun will burn my milk skin.” He boasted.  
“Maybe later this afternoon?” He smirked.

“Hyung, if it’s about looking after me. Forget it. Enjoy yourself.” I hesitantly said.

“I just really don’t feel like being in the water June-ya. And if it’s the reason, what’s wrong with that? I’m still enjoying even though I’m here.” 

“I thought you want me to grow hyung? You’re still look after me like a child.”

“No, I’m not. I just know what you feel.”

All of what he said is true. I am calm, I am in peace for now because I know he’s here with me. He really knows how I feel, and how will I feel. He knows me so much. My guilt is growing bigger and bigger. I think this is the best time for me to tell him.

“Hyung, I.. I want to.. to say something to you.” I utterly said.

“About what?” He asked attentively.

“I know we’ve been friends for years and you know me very well. But I think, there are some things I still need to tell you.” I said can’t look directly in his eyes.

“June-ya, we as a person don’t need to tell everything to others. If you don’t feel not telling me, you don’t have to.” He smiled.  
“I will understand. I’ve known you for so long but I think this is the first time you’re telling me that there’s something I don’t know about you. It’s okay June-ya. We’re friends, yes, but if you need to be private for some part of yourself. I’ll fully understand.” He explained.

“But I think, you really deserve to know this. You deserve to know this part of me for you to know the whole me.” I said. I think I got his full attention now. He turned his whole self to me, listening carefully.

“I didn’t know I am like this before. I didn’t feel anything like this before. Everything I’m feeling these past few days, until today... I don’t know? It’s really a foreign feeling but at the same time it gave me peace.” I said. Jinhwan hyung stared at me as if he’s reading me without saying anything.  
“I think something was being filled inside of me. Something that’s missing is being complete again. I am happy but afraid at the same time.”

At this time, I looked at him directly in the eyes. I want him to feel my sincerity. I will not expect him to accept me but I think it will lessen the burden I’m having.

“There is someone who’s the reason behind what I’m feeling Jinhwan hyung.” I excitedly said.  
“I’m not fully sure of what is the truth but I am at peace when I’m with that person.”  
“Jinhwan hyung, I just want to say that…. that….” I am hesitant to say.  
“I think I… I like… WHAAAAT THE FUUUCK!!!!” I shouted.

I’m not yet done to what I’m saying with Jinhwan hyung when the boys carried me and I think they will throw me in the water.

“WHAT THE FUCK. SHIT. PUT ME DOWN YOU FUCKERS!!!! YAAAAAH!!!!” I shouted while trying to escape from them.

“PUT JUNHOE DOWN YOU BRATS!!!!” Jinhwan hyung shouted.

“PLEASE PLEASE. NOOOOO!! NO PLEASE, PUT ME DOWN. FUCK.” I’m near to tearing up. I lose all my energy in shouting. I can’t breathe properly, my chest hurting. I don’t know what to feel. Fuck!

“YAH, I TOLD YOU TO PUT JUNHOE DOWN!!” I can hear Jinhwan hyung shouting in distance. 

“June-ya can handle this one. This is just his height, he can get out of this.” I heard Hanbin said.

“FUCK YOU HANBIN, PUT JUNHOE DOWN.” Jinhwan hyung added. I think he’s catching us because he’s running out of breath.

“No need to worry Jinhwan hyung. We can handle this.” Yunhyeong added.

I was trying to escape until they throw me into the water.

I can’t feel the ground. I can’t see anyone. I don’t hear anything. I can’t focus. I am scared. I just burst out in tears.

“HELP!!! PLEASE HELP!!!” I cried for help. I am moving up and down in the water. I can’t breathe. I’m panicking. I just cried. I shouted every time my mouth is out of the water. 

“HELP…. PLEASE…. SOMEONE!….. PLEASE……” I shouted tirelessly.

“Help……” The last word that came out of my mouth. I feel someone’s in the water going near me and trying to pull me. I don’t know and I don’t care who’s it but I’m hoping he can save me and himself.


	33. [32] Junhoe's POV

[32] Junhoe’s POV

I woke up in our room, lying in our bed and catching my breath as I realized that there’s no on her inside with me aside from Jinhwan hyung.

“Yah, June-ya! You okay?” He asked. I just stared blankly at him. I still don’t have energy from what happened earlier.

I can see in Jinhwan hyung that he’s panicking. His eyes were filled with tears that wants to flow. He was sitting beside my bed.

“Maybe, you still don’t have energy. Do you want to go to the hospital?” He asked. I can’t speak so I just shake my head.  
“Are you sure you don’t want to? Fuck! I already told them to bring you to the hospital but they insisted not to. Some locals also said you just need a rest. Are you sure you’re okay?” He worriedly asked. I stared at him and give him a little smile. I nod a little to assure him. After that, I sleep again and rest for hours.

It’s around dinnertime when I woke up again. Jinhwan hyung don’t leave my side. He’s still inside the room sitting next to my bed. I can sense that he’s calmer now. I tried to sit down when I woke up.

“Oh, you’re awake now?” Jinhwan hyung asked and tried to help me sit.

“Yup, I’m feeling a lot more better now.” I smiled.  
“What are you doing here? It’s dark outside, I think it’s already dinnertime. Why aren’t you outside?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I don’t feel like eating. And I’m still waiting for my delivery.”

“Why? Aren’t there any foods prepared by the boys?”

“Yah! From what they did to you yesterday, do you think I want to join them?”

I chuckled to what I hear. Jinhwan hyung is really cute. He’s the oldest. He acts matured all the time. Yet he still has this child-like personality. I’m thankful that I have someone like Jinhwan hyung, I know that someone will never leave my side and will always look after me.

* Knock!! Knock!!

As me and Jinhwan hyung having a good time talking someone knocks on the door.

“WHY?!” Jinhwan hyung asked.

Someone opened the door and I saw Donghyuk peeped inside our room.

“Hyung, your food delivery is here already.” Donghyuk said to Jinhwan hyung.

“Okay.” Jinhwan hyung coldly answered Donghyuk.  
“I’ll just go get my delivery. I’ll come back, okay?” Jinhwan hyung turned to me and smile.  
“Where are you going?! Go out of this room!” Jinhwan hyung noticed Donghyuk again who’s entering the room.

“This is my room for tonight hyung. I’m Junhoe’s roommate.” Donghyuk answered.

“No! Exchange room with me and go sleep with Hanbin. You are all fucked up!” Jinhwan hyung said with authority.

“Then let me get my things first.” Donghyuk said in low voice.

“Hyung, it’s okay. Let Donghyuk sleep here with me. Go get your food now, eat in the dining area and you can come back here to check on me. But I prefer to sleep with Donghyuk tonight.” I explained and smile.

“BUT----”

“You don’t have to worry. I’ll be fine.” I cut Jinhwan hyung in what’s he saying and assure him about my condition. Jinhwan hyung finally agreed and get his food.

I can see Donghyuk’s sad and down face. I don’t know how to start the conversation since while fixing his things. I don’t know how to start a conversation with him since I don’t have any serious conversation with him before. I just stared outside through the glass wall of our room.

“A-Are you okay now?” I heard Donghyuk asked in a low voice.

“Oh? Yes, I think I’m pretty fine now than earlier.” I smiled. I try standing up and I think I regain my strength a little.

”Need help?” He asked.

“Uh, no need. I think I can manage.” 

I walked near the glass wall to see the moon shining brightly at the sea on outside of our room. Thank God I’m in this room. It can give me peace and makes me calm. I sat at the chair inside of our room facing the glass wall.

“Sorry. I’m sorry about earlier. Sorry June-ya” Donghyuk said.

“Oh? Hmmmm... I don’t know how to react..” I awkwardly smile.  
“I can’t say it’s okay, but I don’t want to be harsh to you at the same time.” I said.

“I am really sorry. I also do want to apologize on behalf of the boys. We’re really sorry.”

“Are they? Do they really felt sorry towards me?” I asked staring blankly at him.

“Yes, of course. Everyone panicked to what happened to you, we didn’t expect---”

“Panicked? If you did something wrong and felt guilty about it, I think panicking is a natural response to the situation. But do they really felt sorry? I’m hoping they are.” I said then look at the moon.

“You don’t know the feeling of having a regret of asking for forgiveness to someone who can’t give it to you.” I added.  
“I always ride your jokes. I always ride your trips. But when I say something I can’t, I do mean it.”

“I’m out of words, we’re really sorry.” He said. I can feel his voice trembling. He’s carrying the guilt alone because the boys are not with him this time. I know that he’s taking all the courage he has to ask for forgiveness.

“You can sit here beside me. Just… just feel at ease. Please.” I said and stay calm. Donghyuk sat on the chair next to me and look at the view outside.

“Earlier, when you told me that I can sleep on the left side of the bed, you don’t know how much I appreciate that kind gesture of yours. I don’t have to speak what I want, yet you gave it to me right away without thinking. I want to thank you for that” I smiled.  
“It’s not easy for me what happened earlier. I beg you. I cried to you to drop me down but no one takes me seriously. You all take me as a joke. I already told you guys I can’t swim but you guys insisted that I can handle it.” I nearly broke my voice because of the tears I’m holding.  
“When I was 6 years old, did you know that I have a cousin who’s really dear to me? He’s 3 years older than me and treat me as his younger brother. He never think twice taking all the blame when I made mistakes. He always offers to me the things he knew I wanted without hesitating even though I knew he want it to. He’s also a good swimmer. His school always let him join any swimming competition and he won every single of it which I adored the most. He’s also the one who helped to take the swimming lessons we both into.” I smiled and looked at Donghyuk. I can see that he’s surprised by what I’m saying. I don’t know why I’m telling him this but I feel that I just need to.

“You can swim?” He asked confusingly.

“Uh.. yeah? You can say that I can swim, before. Not again. I love swimming actually. I like the water, it gives me comfort like a friend. When it’s summer, our family always went out on a trip, just like this. I always swim in the sea where we decided to spend our whole week. Then one time, my cousin told me to get out of the water because it’s already near the afternoon and the tide is already high. But I decided not to. Until a large wave hit me. I lost my balance and breathing at that time. I shouted for help. HELP ME! HELP ME! The only thing that came out of my mouth. I can’t move my feet, I can’t get out of the water even though I tried so hard. I can’t do anything but cry for help. I saw that my cousin’s swims towards me. He grabs me and tried to pull me out of the water. We’re going up and down the water surface since the tide is high. I lost my consciousness after that and the only thing I remembered is waking up in the hospital. I am weak, and I ran out of energy. I asked for my cousin but he’s not in the room. So I asked everyone where he is until I convince them to tell me. I never expect him to be in the hospital as well but in another room, next to mine. I decided to go to his room. He’s sound asleep so I let him sleep. Two days later, he’s still not waking up, a week later he’s still unconscious up until now he’s still not waking up. The doctor said that his brain ran out of oxygen when he’s trying to save me and nearly died.” I said while breathing heavily and caught myself in tears.

“I visit him every single day, I talk to him every day but he won’t reply to me. Day after day I ask for his forgiveness. Day by day I regret not getting out of the water when he told me. Day by day I’m torturing myself knowing that I’m the reason why he’s still not waking up. And day by day it saddens and angers me that no one receives my apologies… I-I still can remember everything. I can remember everything vividly. After that incident, I become afraid of deep water. It’s like I forgot the comfort it gives me. The reason my parents aren’t home at this time of the year is because their visiting my cousin and still paying the damage I’ve done. Do you know what’s the worst part? No one gets angry at me. I am the only one angry with myself. It makes the guilt grow bigger and bigger. It’s still here. It’s still here.” I said and cry out loud. 

I cried so hard. I still can’t accept it. I still can’t move on with it. I hope he goes better. I hope he wakes up soon. I hope and pray that everything will be okay.

“I’m sorry. I really am sorry.” Donghyuk said and tap my shoulders to comfort me.


	34. [33] Junhoe's POV

[33]Junhoe’s POV

I woke up tomorrow morning and Donghyuk is not in the room anymore. I just stared at the ceiling. I feel so tired. I tried to look in the mirror and saw my puffy eyes. Fuck. Did I really cried hard last night? But it feels good tho’. To share the burden I have with someone else. Jinhwan hyung knows about it, he’s the one who helped me to get back on track. He never leaves my side. At first, I thought he will not stand my attitude but he didn’t give up and I’m thankful for that.

I decided to go out of the room because I feel so hungry. I saw everyone’s in the dining area. I think Jinhwan hyung already cool down. Thank God! Everyone became quiet the moment they saw me walked in.

“June-ya, We’re really sorry. We shouldn’t make fun of you.” Hanbin said breaking the awkward silence.

“ We shouldn’t act that way. We want to apologize because of our doing.” Yunhyeong added.

“Yah! June-ya… I know you’re strong.. but- we’re really sorry.” Chanwoo said that made me smile a little.

“I’ve been telling you this last night. I’m not sure if you accept it when you tell me your story but I am sorry. We really are.” Donghyuk said waiting for my acceptance.

“Story?” Jinhwan hyung ask that made everyone curious. I’m startled so I changed the topic.

“I’m really hungry guys, can you all serve me a food? It will be easier to accept your apologies if you do that.” I jokingly said that made everyone laugh.  
“Everything’s fine now. Thank you everyone.” I added. I think when my cousin regains his consciousness, he will do the same. Is he willing to accept my apology? What is he thinking? It’s been years when it happened. Will he still forgive me? I sat beside Jinhwan hyung and tried to eat the food they prepared for me. As my mind’s occupied with this kind of thought, I tried to lift my head and saw that Jiwon hyung is staring blankly at me. He didn’t say anything earlier. Is he ignoring me? He looked away when our eyes meet.

Jiwon hyung stood up and leave the dining area.

“What’s with him? He’s acting strange since last night.” Chanwoo asked.

“Cold Bobby is back again. He will be okay soon. Maybe he’s just shocked to what happened to Junhoe yesterday.” Donghyuk answered.

“Why? Did you think it burdened him when he saves Junhoe? That jerk! I can’t understand him sometimes.” Hanbin said that surprised me.

“Saved me?” I asked.

“Yes, he’s the one who gets you out of the water yesterday.” Jinhwan hyung said.

“ I don’t know what happened to him now. He’s quiet the whole time.” Yunhyeong said confusingly.

“Don’t worry. I’ll try to talk to him. I still need to thank him.” I said and smile.

“I know this is not appropriate but do you want to extend our stay here?” Yunhyeong asked.

“Yes, we thought that we ruined yesterday’s happiness because of what we did so we’re thinking of paying it off by spending more day here.” Chanwoo added.

“What- don’t you think of Junhoe’s---”

“I’m good with it.” I agreed cutting Jinhwan hyung.

“Okay!!! Let’s make more memories!” Hanbin exclaimed and I saw Jinhwan hyung shaking his head. Everyone’s excited about the extend here beside the sea but there’s only one thing in my mind right now.

He saved me? Jiwon hyung saved me? Then why is he acting strange? Is saving me really burdened him? I thought it will be okay for him to teach me how to swim? I thought it’s okay even though I can’t swim? Why is he ignoring me? Did his feelings foe me changed after what happened yesterday? I still need to thank him. Even though I can’t see him in the picture of what happened yesterday, I still owe my life to him.

Everyone’s excited again in going out of the sea and enjoy this day again.

“You don’t have to come if you’re feeling not to. You don’t have to stress yourself being with us out of the sea.” Donghyuk said to me.

“Uh.. no, it’s okay. I still love the breeze of the sea.” I answered.

“Thank you for trusting me about your story. Thank you for making me understand.”

“It’s nothing, I feel like I have to apologize with you because I burdened you while sharing my burden to you. I’m just not yet ready to open myself to someone. I just can’t control it last night.” I smiled awkwardly.

“It’s okay. I hope your cousin will get better soon. He will June-ya. Just trust him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry to keep you waiting. Please stay safe and healthy during this kind of situation. Thank you so much! ^u^ I hope this will help you during this time. I will try to be better in writing. And will try to update this story frequently. Thank you again! ^^


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